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Chapter 1 - Chuck and raw steak? 0.o

GUARANTEED to be the most RANDOM thing you read. EVER. An RP created between me and Apocalypsedragon. The results were... unstable.

Chapter 1 - Chuck and raw steak? 0.o

Chapter 1 - Chuck and raw steak? 0.o
Warning: Badly written and filled with type-O's. What did you expect LOL! It was written like two years ago in some random thread. Also please note that there were a few other RP's going on at the same time in other threads, so don't be surprised if someone runs in from a dimensional rift.

Everyone had been sitting in the train for a while and I don't even know how they got on it. Kenji had decided it would be more fun to run up and down the isles screaming "ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET?? ARE WE THERE YET??" Until Naera finally yelled, "YES WE'RE THERE!!" Kenji stopped for a second to yell, "LIAR!" and kept running up and down the isles when a pie flew threw the window and hit ______ in the head.
And it hit some random big dude name Chuck, who happened to be reading a rather long novel on how the world could be a better place, in the head.
Chuck did not appreciate this so-called-pie hitting him in the head. It made him lose his place! He only had a few more pages until he beat the world record for the fastest reading of this very large book.
"He threw that?" He yelled, expecting someone to respond... and of course...blame someone else. Someone has to be the scapegoat, right? Chuck immediately blamed someone himself. It was none other than _______________.
Mr. Potato Head! Chuck blamed Mr. Potato Head for throwing the pie at him. Chuck immediately got up and smashed Mr. Potato Head until he was no more. The others watched horrified, knowing that Domo was the one who really threw the pie. That's when the train lurched and crashed on a tree that magically grew in the middle of the train tracks. Luckly, no one was hurt because I has this steak in my back pocket and everyone was OK.
Little did she know, that the steak was...dun dun duuuuuuuun...a steak.
"Wait a minute! We already knew that!" Everyone yelled.
"But it's a RAW steak! BEWARE!!" Erin said before jumping out the said window the pie originally flew into. Apparently...raw steaks are supposedly VEREH scary. Why else would clowns jump on the train and steal it? I'll tell you why; because they're evil. EVIL I TELL YOU!!!!! O.o /twitch/ Chuck was rather disappointed that Mr. Potatoe Head couldn't put up much of a fight...he's in a knitting club, so he's a tough guy. XD
Everyone stared in horror at the steak that was... RAW! 0.0 Then a hippo came and ate Mr. Potato Head and the steak. Everyone and their OC's started thinking that this story and thread was completely pointless just when a magical portal opened up in the celing of the ground. Some poeple complained so I just made the portal open up in the ground. Then out came.... DUN DUN DUUUUUNN My Little Pony. The bigest source of evil in the universe!
Along with the My Little Ponies came...Barney. X.x He and his purple dinosaur...ness...went on a rampage! Raw steak was flying everywhere! It was complete and utter CHAOS!!!! What would the OCs do? Well...leave. At least Elly did...O.o
Elly: /In Hawaii/
Erin: Anywayz...Barney and the My Little Ponies destroyed everything! zOMFG!!!! But suddenly, one of the MTP dropped dead! Why? I'll tell you...or I won't.../gets hit with raw steak/ Okay! >.> They ATE some bad steak! The disease was spreading, and all there was left...was Barney.
Then Barney started singing the "I Love You" song and Krayne jumped on him and yelled, "You ruined my life you big purple basterd!!" Then she dissapeared bc she deceided that it was more fun on Mars with the flying jellyfish. Meanwhile, Someone's OC was about to kill Barney when Danny Phantom flew in and said "Oh shoot! I'm in the wrong show!" Luckly, Sesshomaru came in and killed him with Tokujin, but then Haruko ran Sess over with her vespa and started laughing like the crazy person she is. That was when a magical mushroom flew over to them with his pink elephant, purple hippo, and yellow rino.
Oh, but this magical mushroom was not the type of mushroom you see in Mario games or on that random piece of bread. This was...dun dun duuuuuun...a HEALTHY magical mushroom.
"Now, TO THE HEALTH FOOD STORE!" It yelled, leaving its random comrades behind. He's one mean magical mushroom...O.o
Feeling betrayed, the mushrooms comrads beat the mushroom to death with an elevtric stroodle. There was green slime everywhere when the electric stroodle decided that it wasnted to go to the supermarket as well. Then everyone happily skiped to the supermarket while sining "We're off the the supermarket. The wonderful market of mars. Because because because they sell candy bars" Then a flying monkey astronaut came down and kidnaped ______.
Chuck, our oh-so-very-easily-angered-dude-whom-no-one-really-knows-that-well. Oh em gee! Not Chuck! Oh noez! No one really actually cared that much, and decided to take advantage of the free DSL in the building. In fact, some decided to watch Anime from Full Metal Alchemist, to actually unedited One Piece. This is what happens when someone gets buzzed off of air. XD Obviously, no one noticed when the ninja penguins crashed through the windows.
"_______________________" The leader of the NP (Ninja Penguins) shouted.
"Give me your coconuts so I can dominate the world wide flower pot!" the leader of the NP yelled. Then everyone's OC's freaked out and dropped acid while playing the song "We Love the Munchkin Men" with a papercut and a banjo. The NP leader then jumped on your head and turned into... DUN DUN DUUUUUNN!! Raw steak! 0.o
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! "I screamed, throwing the raw steak into the nearest person's hands. It was the leader of the NP.
"GROSS!!" He yelled, throwing it at someone else.
Apparently, they invented at new version of hot potato...Gross steak!
Everyone continued throwing the gross steak everywhere and to the next person. Then some music started playing and upon further inspection, it was the theme from Titanic. Suddenly, the music stopped playing and Chuck happened to be holding the steak. After yelling "I'm king of the world!" he turned into a rocking chair with a waffle on it.
Chuck the rocking chair sat there, rocking. Truthfully, it was rather creepy. A steak holding rocking chair with a waffle on it? That made no sense at all! Everone else's ears were bleeding from Celine Dion singing. Obviously, they thought it was bad. Roy ran in from the RP on the other page.
"I WILL AVENGE MR. DESKY!!!!!" He yelled, obviously, with the T_T / D=< face. If that's possible... ^_^'
Roy stole Chuck, the rocking chair, and threw him back in the RP on the other page. Unfortunately, Chuck was still holding the steak and still had a waffle on him. Roy yelled something about world domination and Mr. Desky when a jiant rock/raw steak fell on him. That was about the time that a piarate came in and stole all the gold. Only to be stopped when a ninja jumped in.
This ninja, was in fact, a ninja. No duh, smart one...>.> (Talking to self) Obviously, the ninja decided, "Hey! Meh likes teh gold! It shiiiiiineeeeeeh. This ninja lurves his shineh crap.
So, the pirate and the ninja team up and take the gold. Then a bus falls from the sky and lands on them. Just before the gold was about to be purple, it decided to be green. Then I ate some cheese-its bc I'm bored and I don't like cheese-its.
I don't like cheezits either...^^; But anyways...the bus, of course, decided that "You know what? I'm gonna torture these people to death!" And continued to drive back and forth over the "so-called-pirate -ninja -peoplez"...the bus didn't know that they were really Barbie dolls...but who cares! Burn them! >XD Burn, Barbie, BURN!!! >XD
That was when the very bloody and barbies got up. They started dancing and singing (Tune to 'Barbie Girl' It's just a remake of the song, but it fits better. It sounds funnier too.) "I'm an ugly girl. My face makes you huuuu-uuuu-uuurl! My head's bla bla I should bag it. Acne everywhere. Unwanted facial haaa-aaa-aair! I'm the relation to frankenstein's creation!" Unfortunately, they were so drunk, they thought they sounded like that, but they really sounded like "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHERSYHTRAAAALOOODADDLAODAOATLADLLLLLAELLDDDADALDAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Then the green and not purple gold jumpped up and killed them bc no one could stand it anymore.
Everyone else jumped up and down for joy. Suddenly, a salesman appeared!
“Have you ever been in the situation where you really need a coconut, but don’t have one? I bet you have! To avoid that happening again, you need the great Migrating Coconut!” The Salesman said enthusiastically. “Let me give you a demonstration! Fly my coconuts! FLY! Muhahahahahaaaaa…” The Salesman cackled insanely as he let loose coconuts that could fly.
I forgot the characters that were in the story so I made new ones run from the coconuts. Fred ran up, Mike ran down, Bob threw up on the cake, and Billy Bob Joe beat all of them up with a maseball bat, from the game maseball where you have to hit a can of mase instead of a ball. Then Alvin, Theadore, and uhhh.... Simon came up with their chipmunk voices and stated "We really ned coconuts! That dude won't stop yelling at us for no reason!" That's hen a voice called, "Alven", while one of the chipmuncks said "See? There he is again. Can't the freak just leave use along?" The voice called, yet again, "Alven!!" then the chipmunck continued, "God, we're freaking talking chipmuncks! Leave us along!" "ALVEN!!!!" "Chill, Dave!"
As the 3 chipmunks continued being yelled at by the man who is obviously in his mid-life-crisis, Mr. Salesman ran for his life. They had found the one thing that could beat him; 3 talking chipmunks going through puberty. (Because of the high voices XD )
As the coconut salsman ran, Cerberus, the dog of hell, saw him and started chasing him with giant 3-headed doggy barks. Cerberus picked up the salesman with his teeth and started chewing on one of the dust specks on his pants. The salesman then had only one thing he could do..... And that was-
-cry for his mommy...which didn't work... instead, the three chikmunks who still have not hit the puberty line, started squealing. Cerberus could not take the high pitched pitchyness...thing. He started howling, with the salesmen still in one of the mouths. Cerberus accidentally ate Mr. Coconut-Salesman. That poor dog...he's gonna have bad indegestion...
Then all the coconuts cried bc their best friend in the universe was gone forever. Then the three chipmunks felt a sudden urge to sing. Urge? URGE!! They sang "I've got the uuuuuuuuuurge to Urble! Something about being in the shower..... for another half an hour! URGE TO URBLE!!!" The sound was so horrible that 2 of the dog's heads exploded and the last one had a really bad case of diarea THEN it exploded.
The janitor walked into the room. He wasn't so happy. He had so much to clean up. Suddenly, smoke bombs went off, engulfing the janitor in smoke! When the smoke cleared, instead of the janitor, they saw...the SUPERJANITOR!!!!


uperjanitor was just about to clean up the horrible mess left behind when a bunch of fangirls ran up to him screaming "OMG is't the superjanitor!! Someone throw me a freakin bone here!" Superjanitor then realized that he was up against his arch nemesis(sp)! "Show your face, Dr. HAAhhivlooijen!" he yelled.
"Show your face, Dr. HAAhhivlooijen!" he yelled.
" finally realized I was here, eh?" Dr. HAAhhivlooijen answered.
"Um....yeah, yeah I long have you been standing there?" SuperJanitor asked.
"Oh...about 10 minutes..." Dr. HAAhhivlooijen replied.
"Oh...well...make yourself noticed earlier than!"
"I had a neon sign...and fireworks! And a juggling bear on a unicycle!"
Everyone...just stared...
"Let's have a techno party!" SuperJanitor yelled.
"NO!!! NOT A TECHNO PARTY!!!! MY ONE WEAKNESSSSSSSS!!!" Dr. HAAhhivlooijen screamed in agony.
As Superjanitor, a cookie, some pizza, the gold I think is still here, ponies, the juggling bear on a cinicycle, and everyone else had a techno party and danced, Dr. HAAhhivlooijen continued yelling in agony as he seemed to shrink. It appeared that Dr. HAAhhivlooijen was no more when DUN DUN DUUUUUNNN.... he turned into raw steak.
SuperJanitor collapsed. Raw steak...the one...of many...things that made him queasy.
"I don't want E Coli!" He yelled, rocking back in forth in the corner in the fetal position.
"Now that's just pathetic..." The Juggling Bear on the unicycle proclaimed before riding off to join a motorcylce gang.
Realizing the bear on the unicycle had left for good, Superjanitor managed to get to his feet and watch as the bear rode off iunto the distance. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" he cried, but the bear was already out of sight. When looking back to get his original job done, he noticed the raw stead, big doggy poopie, exploding guts everywhere. "No way am I cleaning up this mess." he procliamed while driving a javalen deep into his lower spleen.
The Javelin melted.
"What is in that spleen?" The Raw steak pondered.
"He can talk!" The cookie yelled.
"He can talk!" The pizza shouted.
"He can talk!" The gold exclaimed.
"He can be grilled!" The ponies pointed out...
"..." The others just stared.
"What?" The ponies asked...
"We're gonna need some steak sauce..."
"Oh...crap..." The steak muttered, slowly backing away from the others.
The ponies, cookie, and pizza was just about to cook the raw steak and use his good friend A1 to make him taste really good. Then a great big dragon came down and ate the steak. Unfortunately, he forgot to cook it first and the raw steak ate the poor dragon alive.
However....the dragon gave the steak indegestion. The raw steak was in much pain. Suddenly, music started to play!
"Nausea; heartburn; indegestion; upset stomach; diarreah! Yeah! Pepto Bismol!" People started to do the pepto bismol dance. It was extremely horrifying to watch.
Unfortunately, the Pepto Bismol dance was being done by little dancer elves that usually reside around the 'Green Eating Tree Dancing' area. That was when a huge cloud appeared in the sky. The nausea, heartburn, indegestion, upset stomach, diarea god had herd the cry of the elves and it started raining a thick pink substance that tasted revolting.
That pink substance was....CHERRY Pepto Bismol! Oh the Horror! The pink, medicine-y horror!
"I wish I hadn't quit my old job as a Keebler Elf! (Those ones that make the cookies? o.o; )" One of the elves shouted.
"Ha! This is way better than working for Santa...we had NO dental coverage at all up there...with all the cookies and back-breaking labor..." Another one replied.
Another one yelled "Yah, it sucks being in Lord of the Rings! There's always that evil lord guy trying to kill us. I just wanted to play my banjo, but they made me join the damn fellowship and shoot crap with an arrow! Damn trolls or whatever they were." The rest of the elves agreed that being a dancing elf was far better then any other elf job and they danced in the "rain"....... till it made them sick.
Becausee, of course, Pepto Bismol doesn't really help. It just makes things worse. (But I like Lord of the Rings...>.>; ) The elves ran for it, hoping there was some place they could start a dictatorship...I mean...a new country for themselves so they could all be "free."
Luckly, I had this steak in my back pocket.... again. Then this cottage appeared and it stopped.... raining. Then the elves played and danced and the one from Lord of the Rings played his banjo all day long.
The banjo was out of tune. It made peoples' ears bleed...not such a pretty sight...the blood was...dun dun duuuuuuun...NEW cherry pepto bismol!1!!11 Oh noes!
The NEW Pepto Bismol not only tasted worse, it burned too. Just touching it would make one's skin feel as if mutant monkied were chewing on it with thwie teeth of fire. Everyone was yelling and holding their burning monkey ears. There was, however, only one way to stop the NEW Pepto Bismol. Farfig Nugen.
Farfig Nugen...sung...the Happy Happy Joy Joy Song. The speakers blasted the song, and the NEW Pepto Bismol was no more. However...this spurred something else. Vampires from the electronics section of Walmart decided to walk around. Erin decided, "Hey! They look like Vampires! I'll go ask!" She annoyed the vampires enough to make themselves eat garlic.
They assumed that eating the garlic would make them die bc that was the super stition, but the garlic actually made them turn into extremely large window sills. There were no windows..... just the outside of them.
he Vampire Window sills sat there. And sat there...because they couldn't move. They started to get mad...they wasnted to go back to Walmart...
Then someone shouted on the loudspeakers, "Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers. There is a clearence section in the tutu department! =^0^= " All the vampires tried to move as hard as they could, but they could only manage to shake a little. They really wanted to wear those tutus... This went on or some time until persperation seemed to drip down the sills before some vampire turned into teir bat form, which was a smaller window sill with wings. The rest did the same, and they were off to the tutu departmet.
Sadly...the vikings beat them to the tutu department. All the black ones were well as...well...the rest of them too. Those vikings do love their tutus...

All good things must come to an end. And so did this. Wao, this was longer than I thought >.> No, I didn't read it while I put it up there. I just copied and pasted every... single... post... and I read a little of it. Yupyup, it's just as random as I remember it ^^


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