Chapter 17 - Secret Agent Man (or, um, Woman?)

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Akara and Gaara sat, listening as the other “investors” laughed at Ken’s not-funny jokes. Akara was obviously bored, staring off into space and absentmindedly swirling the sake in her glass. Gaara stared ahead, willing Ken to fall over dead of his own accord.

They had been asked by the odious man to stay behind with the other investors for a night at the onsen, and Gaara felt a pang of anger whenever Ken gave Akara a sidelong glance.

“Well, frivolity aside,” said Ken, “let’s relax and have a bit of quiet, yes?” Akara gave her fake smile to the man.

“It would be a pleasure, right Jiro-koi?”

Gaara nodded. “It would be appreciated. Thank you.”

They all went to separate dressing rooms, the wives and “female guests” in one room, the men in the other. The men stepped out, and slid into the water, shortly followed by their wives. Akara slipped in next to Gaara, maintaining enough distance for comfort but enough to keep their cover.

“Gaara-sama, we have to complete the mission tonight. We cannot afford to stall much longer.”

“I understand.”

Akara smiled once again, and winked at him. “Just leave it to me, okay, Gaara-sama?”

~~~~~~~~~~

They all soaked for a while, Akara playing her role of a socialite wife well. Gaara watched her as he sat with the men, waiting for her signal. They’d agreed that Ken was likely to ask her during the garden party to sleep with him, and that the signal would be a jerk of the head. Ken had fulfilled his part, and now they could only wait.

“Say, Jiro,” said one of the investors, “your wife’s rather pretty. Are all the women in Wind Country that beautiful?”

Gaara looked over at the man, then back at Akara. She was laughing at something one of the women had said, and he was once again reminded of wind chimes.

“Some of them,” he said, eyes still on Akara, “some of them.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Aika-chan,” said Ken, swimming up beside Akara, “a word, if you please.”

Akara looked at him, and nodded. “What do you wish?”
Ken looked down at his fingers. “Well, Aika, I was wondering if you would like to render me a…well…service.”

“Service? What kind?”

Ken blushed. It may have been from the sake, but Akara knew better.

“A…intimate service.”

She put on a wide-eyed look of surprise. “Ken-san, are you implying that you’d like me to sleep with you?”

“Not unless you wouldn’t want to, of course…”

Akara looked over at Gaara, and jerked her head. He caught the signal, and nodded.

“My husband is highly protective…we would need to keep it quiet. How about midnight? Here, at the onsen?”

“Perfect,” he said, a wide smile plastered on his face, “but don’t be alarmed if my bodyguards search you before you enter. They’re paranoid, those Kiri-nin.”

Akara freaked.

“Kiri-nin?! Is it safe?”

“Perfectly,” said Ken, as though the thought was laughable.

Oh, if he only knew.

~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Gaara and Akara prepared themselves: Gaara wore an ANBU outfit, while Akara wore a black kimono. They stole out into the night, carefully choreographing their movements; after all, Akara knew how dangerous a ninja from Kiri could be.

“Gaara-sama, we’re nearing the onsen. Lay low.”

“I’ve done assassination missions before, Akara-san. I know what I’m doing.”

A snort. “This coming from the guy who can’t even sense…”

“We’d agreed not to mention that, didn’t we?”

“Sure we did, Gaara-sama…”

Akara stopped in front of the gate that led into the onsen. She turned to face Gaara.

“Stay safe.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Gaara stuck near the wall, waiting for Akara to get past the checkpoint. He heard the Kiri Chuunin at the gate laugh nervously. Oh good, they were dealing with a novice.

“Handcuffs? Kunai? Wire?” The ninja looked at her suspiciously.

“What can I say,” said Akara demurely, “I’ve got a bit of a fetish.”

Gaara suppressed a snort. Really, how can you possibly take a girl like Akara seriously when it came to these kinds of matters? The ninja did, apparently, because he let her through. Gaara snuck along the perimeter, and his sand snapped the Kiri-nin’s neck. The redhead chuckled.

This mission was a cakewalk.

~~~~~~~~~~

Akara walked into the room, was searched again, and locked within. She heaved an aggravated sigh.

Honestly, Chuunin in Kiri are slacking off, she thought, was I ever this sloppy? Nooo…

She untied her obi, and slipped it off to reveal a black lace bodice and lacy lingerie. She also wore fishnet stockings, and fishnet fingerless gloves. Her hair was held back in a loose bun with a pair of black lacquered chopsticks. She heard the door open, and Ken walked in, naked except a pair of boxers. Akara sighed, and took the cuffs from her bag.

This mission was a joke.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gaara slunk through the hallways of the onsen, killing every ninja in his way. As another novice fell, he heard Akara’s voice floating out from behind a door.

“Are you ready,” she asked.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Yes,” Ken breathed. Akara smirked.

“You’ve been bad, haven’t you,” she whispered, tugging at his wire-restrained hands. He winced, and then nodded.

“And you know what happens to bad boys,” she asked, twirling a kunai on her index finger. He shook his head.

“What happens?”

She scratched the side of his face with the kunai, drawing blood. Pressing her face close to his, she gave her slow, seducing smile.

“They’re punished,” she murmured, licking the blood off his face. He hissed against the sting of saliva in a fresh wound.

“Have you been a bad boy?”

Ken choked back a moan. “Yes.”

“Good. Then Yashara no Akara will punish you.”

She snapped his neck, then slashed his throat. He was dead before he hit the floor.

Akara sighed, and spit the blood from her mouth. Pulling on her kimono, she was interrupted by a knock.

~~~~~~~~~~

A Kiri-nin was dispatched to check on his master. He really knew that he shouldn’t, but orders were orders: watch the Principle.

He knocked on the door. “Ken-san, are you alright?”

No answer. He knocked again, and he suddenly realized how quiet it was.

“Ken-san?”

No answer. He tore a hole in the rice paper door, and peered through. All he saw was blood, and a dead Ken lying on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Crap,” said Akara, jumping out the window. She’d been nearly caught. A figure landed beside her, and she swiped at it with her kunai. Gaara had to dodge in order to avoid getting stabbed.

“Kuso, Gaara-sama! Warn me next time you do that!”
“If you don’t keep running for the hotel, then there will be no next time.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto and Sakura were yawning at their post. They’d been stuck with guarding the gate, and so were actually fairly surprised to see Gaara and Akara running up, Akara in her training clothes and Gaara in ANBU gear. Sakura stared.

“Do I want to know?”

Akara stared back.

“I don’t think you do.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Remind me to thank Tsunade-hime for letting us hide out in Konoha. We didn’t expect to be caught assassinating a rebel leader, but what’re you going to do?” Akara flopped down on Sakura’s couch. Gaara had passed out in Sakura’s guest bedroom, and Sakura had hung up the phone.

“Well, I just called Temari and Kankuro, so they’ll be in Konoha to get you guys. Naruto left to get bandages, so now I want to know: what the heck happened?”

“Well, the council, being the idiots they are, sent us on a mission together.”

“Oh,” said Sakura slyly, “romantic?”

“Not at all,” Akara muttered. “We were to eliminate the coordinator of a rebel group. Ken Izuni?”

“Of Izuni Shipping Corps? Well whodathunkit…”

“Yeah, and now we’re probably getting chased by said rebels,” Akara finished. They sat that way for a while, before Akara spoke again.

“I’m bored. I’m going to mess around with Gaara-sama while he’s sleeping.”

“ARE YOU MAD?!”

Sakura tried to drag the Suna kunoichi back to the couch, but failed as the door to the guest bedroom was opened.

Gaara lay peacefully on the bed, one hand hanging off the edge of the bed and the other sprawled across his chest. Akara sighed at the sight.

“Aw…just like a little angel,” she said sarcastically. Sakura stared at her.

“Yeah…a psychotic angel! Now let’s not do this, please…”

“Too bad he won’t look like that for long…”

Akara pulled out an air horn, and Sakura paled.

“Are you sane? That’s like asking for death!”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Akara said, putting it up to his ear, “this is how Temari-chan wakes him up every morning.”

She turned to Sakura. “You might want to cover your ears.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The blaring sound of an air horn sliced through Gaara’s sleep like a kunai through wet rice paper.

“SONOFA…!”

He fell off the bed, clutching his ears. “WHAT THE frack WAS THAT FOR? SERIOUSLY AKARA-SAN, WHAT THE HELL!”

Akara looked down at him, a huge grin plastered on her face.

“Glad to see you’re awake, Gaara-sama. Temari and Kankuro are waiting in the Hokage’s office. Get dressed and let’s go.”

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