Chapter 1 - Untitled
Submitted May 21, 2005 Updated May 21, 2005 Status Incomplete | I came up with this in like 5 min. But it really is a craptacilar poem
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Chapter 1 - Untitled
Chapter 1 - Untitled
Hope
Tonight the sun sets late
So then I wait and wait.
Longer becomes my day life
But when night falls, in comes the pain and strife.
I am bearing the burden of just one
But in my mind it feels like a ton.
Oh Lord what have I done?
Holding on to just one hope
Gripping tightly so not to slip out like soap.
May 21, 2005
Comments
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gabbyg04 on June 6, 2005, 11:12:14 AM
gabbyg04 on
RiversBlood on June 2, 2005, 6:19:39 AM
RiversBlood on
If you'd work longer on this it would have been better. It looks as though you focused to much on ryhming. Not all poems have to ryhme (SP? T.T) Don't try so hard to make it ryhme, try a little harder to get more emotions into it. I can't wait for another one of your poems! Keep posting ^.^xoxoAMERICANIDIOTxoxo on May 29, 2005, 7:28:37 AM
hey i think u should of got more comments i liked it so those other people dont know what there not commenting about:) ^6^ ^.^ ^@^UNITED_WE_SUCK on May 21, 2005, 7:41:19 AM
K this really appeared weird so sorry if it looks funny theres no rite spacing ^?^
to write in the spur of the moment
too...!!...most of my poems i
write pretty quick 2....hope 2c
more !!...great job!
~Gabby