Chapter 9 - Distance, Self-Pity
Submitted January 1, 2011 Updated June 2, 2011 Status Incomplete | A forbidden love. Teacher and student. Kakashi Hatake, so aloof and coldhearted, falls for the young Sakura Haruno. She has a dangerous choice to make. My OC is Sakura''s childhood friend and sole confidant.
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Anime/Manga » Naruto series » Couples/Pairings » Kakashi + Sakura |
Chapter 9 - Distance, Self-Pity
Chapter 9 - Distance, Self-Pity
“Kakashi!” The Hokage slammed his hand down on the table, snapping Kakashi back into reality. Damn. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he stopped talking in midsentence. “How you can get lost in thought in the middle of talking, I’ll never stop wondering. Please, focus! “
“Forgive me, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi apologized in a cool but contrite voice. To think he'd actually daydream in midsentence… “As I was saying … Er, what was I saying?” He smiled sheepishly and scratched the side of his face with one finger.
“Kakashi….” The Hokage grunted, then sighed. “You were about to tell me why you were picking fights with trees! Honestly, I don’t know where your head is, but if you can’t maintain your focus… Do I need to take you off of active duty?” Kakashi’s head snapped up, and his gaze sharpened.
“No, Hokage-sama, that won’t be necessary,” Kakashi said quickly, waving his hand in front of him in a “no” gesture. I’ll make sure it isn’t necessary. I’ll take my feelings out of the equation. It doesn’t matter what I feel, I can’t act on those feelings. So, I’ll tuck them away. Maybe, when she’s older… As for his explanation… “Right, the trees. Well, you see, what happened was…”
Hokage yawned, surprised that such an explanation would take so long. Kakashi invented some lame, roundabout story that the tree holding a grudge against him, and when he went walking through the forest, he happened to trip over a black cat, and the tree finally managed to catch up with him, so he had to teach it a lesson. The story was total crap, and the Lord Hokage knew it, and Kakashi knew that he knew. After he finished his crap story, he heard the Hokage sigh.
I see… So that’s what happened, eh?” Kakashi grinned sheepishly at the Hokage’s dry tone. “Very well, Kakashi. I’ll accept your explanation… for now. You are dismissed.”
“Yes, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi replied, and disappeared. “Kakashi… At least you know that you can’t fool me. But to so blatantly lie to me, knowing I wasn’t fooled… Just what is it that is troubling you, Kakashi?”
---
Kakashi sighed as he walked around the village aimlessly. He knew he was pushing it, lying like that to Hokage-sama’s face. But he couldn’t exactly tell him the truth. Especially the Hokage. He wouldn’t be arrested, because he hadn’t acted on his feelings… yet. But he’d definitely be dealt with. The only solution he could come up with was to totally ignore his feelings. He would smother them until they died out, and things will go back to normal. He’d go back to being the lonely man he was, the man who was too good at pretending. The man who was untouched by trifles like affection. The man with so few friends.
He shook his head urgently, clearing away those thoughts. He couldn’t fall victim to self-pity. I have Jiraiya and Guy, although I definitely couldn’t talk to them about things like this. Jiraiya would make fun of me for falling for a minor, and then he’d tell me to go get me some kunoichi tail. Guy would be flabberghasted, but would give me some motivational speech about following my heart, and if I failed, to set some ridiculous goal for myself to overcome my obstacles. He couldn’t hold a serious conversation with them about it, that’s for sure. He just didn’t know what to do. Even if he did approach her, which he couldn’t, she probably wouldn’t believe him.
Aside from that, he wouldn’t- no, he couldn’t- smear Sakura’s honor by having her get involved with her teacher. The old ladies in the village would have a field day with that. Her future in Konoha would be in shambles. And then there was his reputation to think about. If he got involved with his student, there’d be hell to pay. Not only would he be arrested, but his honor would go out the window. He wouldn’t be respected as a Shinobi anymore. He would forfeit his position as sensei by default. There really was only one thing he could do. He’d distance himself from her emotionally, so she wouldn’t ever even think about it, and he wouldn’t be tempted any more. Self pity wasn’t an option.
--
Chapter 10: http://www.fanart-central.net/chapter-100593.html
“Forgive me, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi apologized in a cool but contrite voice. To think he'd actually daydream in midsentence… “As I was saying … Er, what was I saying?” He smiled sheepishly and scratched the side of his face with one finger.
“Kakashi….” The Hokage grunted, then sighed. “You were about to tell me why you were picking fights with trees! Honestly, I don’t know where your head is, but if you can’t maintain your focus… Do I need to take you off of active duty?” Kakashi’s head snapped up, and his gaze sharpened.
“No, Hokage-sama, that won’t be necessary,” Kakashi said quickly, waving his hand in front of him in a “no” gesture. I’ll make sure it isn’t necessary. I’ll take my feelings out of the equation. It doesn’t matter what I feel, I can’t act on those feelings. So, I’ll tuck them away. Maybe, when she’s older… As for his explanation… “Right, the trees. Well, you see, what happened was…”
Hokage yawned, surprised that such an explanation would take so long. Kakashi invented some lame, roundabout story that the tree holding a grudge against him, and when he went walking through the forest, he happened to trip over a black cat, and the tree finally managed to catch up with him, so he had to teach it a lesson. The story was total crap, and the Lord Hokage knew it, and Kakashi knew that he knew. After he finished his crap story, he heard the Hokage sigh.
I see… So that’s what happened, eh?” Kakashi grinned sheepishly at the Hokage’s dry tone. “Very well, Kakashi. I’ll accept your explanation… for now. You are dismissed.”
“Yes, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi replied, and disappeared. “Kakashi… At least you know that you can’t fool me. But to so blatantly lie to me, knowing I wasn’t fooled… Just what is it that is troubling you, Kakashi?”
---
Kakashi sighed as he walked around the village aimlessly. He knew he was pushing it, lying like that to Hokage-sama’s face. But he couldn’t exactly tell him the truth. Especially the Hokage. He wouldn’t be arrested, because he hadn’t acted on his feelings… yet. But he’d definitely be dealt with. The only solution he could come up with was to totally ignore his feelings. He would smother them until they died out, and things will go back to normal. He’d go back to being the lonely man he was, the man who was too good at pretending. The man who was untouched by trifles like affection. The man with so few friends.
He shook his head urgently, clearing away those thoughts. He couldn’t fall victim to self-pity. I have Jiraiya and Guy, although I definitely couldn’t talk to them about things like this. Jiraiya would make fun of me for falling for a minor, and then he’d tell me to go get me some kunoichi tail. Guy would be flabberghasted, but would give me some motivational speech about following my heart, and if I failed, to set some ridiculous goal for myself to overcome my obstacles. He couldn’t hold a serious conversation with them about it, that’s for sure. He just didn’t know what to do. Even if he did approach her, which he couldn’t, she probably wouldn’t believe him.
Aside from that, he wouldn’t- no, he couldn’t- smear Sakura’s honor by having her get involved with her teacher. The old ladies in the village would have a field day with that. Her future in Konoha would be in shambles. And then there was his reputation to think about. If he got involved with his student, there’d be hell to pay. Not only would he be arrested, but his honor would go out the window. He wouldn’t be respected as a Shinobi anymore. He would forfeit his position as sensei by default. There really was only one thing he could do. He’d distance himself from her emotionally, so she wouldn’t ever even think about it, and he wouldn’t be tempted any more. Self pity wasn’t an option.
--
Chapter 10: http://www.fanart-central.net/chapter-100593.html
Comments
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nextguardian on January 10, 2011, 11:16:28 AM
nextguardian on
Self-pity is a totally viable option! It sucks to see the girl and not be able to have her. And likewise for Sakura, I'm sure. This is really catchy. I'm usually rooting for my own OC to get Sakura, but this fic is making me vote KakaSaku!andr28a on January 10, 2011, 8:13:10 AM
andr28a on
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or so they say at least