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alone in constent silence

i am depressed

Chapters

Chapters

Chapter 1 - alone in constant silence
Submitted: February 18, 2004 • Updated: February 18, 2004
Word count: 559 • Size: 2k • Comments: 11 • views: 399

Chapter 2 - shadows
Submitted: February 19, 2004 • Updated: February 19, 2004
Word count: 454 • Size: 2k • Comments: 3 • views: 234

Chapter 3 - I CRY OUT
Submitted: March 16, 2004 • Updated: March 16, 2004
Word count: 224 • Size: 1k • Comments: 0 • views: 233

Chapter 4 - betrayed and broken
Submitted: May 5, 2004 • Updated: May 5, 2004
Word count: 245 • Size: 1k • Comments: 0 • views: 226

Chapter 5 - EVERLASTING BETRAYAL
Submitted: June 6, 2004 • Updated: June 6, 2004
Word count: 273 • Size: 1k • Comments: 0 • views: 214

Chapter 6 - some thing....
Submitted: June 11, 2004 • Updated: June 11, 2004
Word count: 376 • Size: 1k • Comments: 0 • views: 142

Comments

Comments (14)

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master59002 on May 27, 2004, 9:53:36 AM

master59002 on (Chapter: 1)
master59002didn't u do this 1 on other place?

the_vampress on March 16, 2004, 8:18:28 AM

the_vampress on (Chapter: 1)
the_vampressI think this is a wonderful poem. I think it's written very well, and it's something that Hiei would think (though I doubt write himself). Most people wouldn't admit the dark truth about Hiei, they only see what the show lets them, but this has a wonderful dark quality that would fit a deep scare hidden in his heart.

sweetblood on March 6, 2004, 7:44:45 AM

sweetblood on (Chapter: 1)
sweetbloodAwesome poem!! *adds to fav's* keep writing! ~^_^~

Raymei on February 26, 2004, 4:46:56 PM

Raymei on (Chapter: 1)
RaymeiNot bad n.n
It may have been better to edit out your favorite parts and make it shoter cuz sometimes it's like you're repeating with diff words (which you only use to attain certain affects of drudgery)

Consistancy would be something to look into too. Cuz if you're going to do that repeating of stanzas thing, you don't want to randomly break that and then go back. Kinda ackward.
Chotto Mearii-Suu soo ne. Hiei wa toojyoojin butsu dake o shootteiru no?

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 25, 2004, 2:01:02 PM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 1)
Zeke_hieis_girlthankies for the advice cat ^__^ i think it will be easy for me to put my self in hiei's place because i kinda feel like he does right now....

Silver_Fox_theif on February 24, 2004, 10:38:36 AM

Silver_Fox_theif on (Chapter: 1)
Silver_Fox_theifthat's a good poem, but *not wanting to sound mean, but sounding mean anyway* maybe if u didnt start so may stansas with the same thing.....BTW, it's nice to know there's a fellow youkai around here. i'm a brown-haired spirit fox (like Youko). what are u?

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 23, 2004, 12:21:34 PM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 1)
Zeke_hieis_girlokies this took me quite a while to write and i will tell you the seat i was sitting in didnt feel to comfortable after sitting in it for so long well hope you like and i hope its not to long.THIS POEM IS DETICATED TO HIEI JAGANSHI

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 22, 2004, 4:00:24 AM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 2)
Zeke_hieis_girlGenkai if you look at this poem it is a bit more acurate with how hiei feels and wants to feel i do some times think of hiei as just some one who lost his way and is provoked to do what he does it wasnt his fault hina was a bad mother by disobaying the rules now was it??

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 22, 2004, 3:58:13 AM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 1)
Zeke_hieis_girlThankies Genkai your comments mean alot to me ^__^ and yes i know that he doesnt want to be as dark as he is it was just how the poem turned out and i didnt say it was in hiei's point of view now did i heheheh i am a trixy youkai you know

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 22, 2004, 3:49:35 AM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 2)
Zeke_hieis_girlthankies for your comment it means alot to me ^__^

Weirdopunkwolf on February 21, 2004, 8:44:10 AM

Weirdopunkwolf on (Chapter: 2)
Weirdopunkwolfvery good ^_^

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 19, 2004, 11:33:29 AM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 1)
Zeke_hieis_girlokies this took me quite a while to write and i will tell you the seat i was sitting in didnt feel to comfortable after sitting in it for so long well hope you like and i hope its not to long.THIS POEM IS DETICATED TO HIEI JAGANSHI

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 19, 2004, 11:33:24 AM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 1)
Zeke_hieis_girlokies this took me quite a while to write and i will tell you the seat i was sitting in didnt feel to comfortable after sitting in it for so long well hope you like and i hope its not to long.THIS POEM IS DETICATED TO HIEI JAGANSHI

Zeke_hieis_girl on February 18, 2004, 11:27:56 AM

Zeke_hieis_girl on (Chapter: 1)
Zeke_hieis_girlokies this took me quite a while to write and i will tell you the seat i was sitting in didnt feel to comfortable after sitting in it for so long well hope you like and i hope its not to long.
THIS POEM IS DETICATED TO
HIEI JAGANSHI