Chapter 1 - Clearer
Submitted August 27, 2005 Updated August 27, 2005 Status Incomplete | is just a poem about what i thought life was
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Chapter 1 - Clearer
Chapter 1 - Clearer
When you look at me. Who do you know? How do you breathe? Knowing but ever wanting. Only you remain so true. Hearts unseen. Souls wandering. Still you stay unsure of me. Silence looms. The doom is here. People go and friends will leave. Most things come more naturally. Fact remains who we are. Child of god. Come so far. Papers cut and wounds will heel. Yet we learn and try to feel. But in the eyes of god we stay so none of this matters anyway. Look at me. What do you see? Who am I? Who are we? Many things we see aren't true but one thing I know are true is you.
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kos on September 24, 2005, 2:25:17 PM
kos on
kos on September 24, 2005, 2:20:49 PM
kos on
This is a good poem, at least I think so, because it shares a bit of the author's soul with the world. And that's generally a good thing. Keep up the good work.kiaragurl03 on August 29, 2005, 5:56:18 AM
kiaragurl03 on
What do you mean you didn't think it was good!??! You told me at soccer practice that it was bad! You kidding!? Its amazing! I wish I could write something that good ,but all lately on my mind lately is poems that seem to have the same beginning. I also find myself to write about things like about a flower! OMG! I'M GONNA GO WRITE THAT! *runs off*Yusuke: Wtf!?
Haru: Insane werido
Hiro: Freaking werido *goes off to this explanination*
Kyo: What am I doing here?
Me: Oh yeah! *runs back and grabs them* They are mines!* See ya tomrrow!
- The formatting is messed up, at least on my screen. It's all just one paragraph. I'd love to see this poem arranged into stanzas, because a lot of poetry is enhanced by the way it is laid out on the page, which affects the way that it is read and understood.
- "wounds will heel" -> "wounds will heal"
- "god" is normally capitalized, though I realize you may have left it uncapitalized deliberately.
- "I know are true" -> "I know is true"