Chapter 81 - Cross to Carry

Ekyt went crashing to the ground again, but clambered right up and kept blocking and striking in return. The cuts and injuries mounted, until he was one giant bruise. His own attacks hurt him. But he just had to last a little longer…

Naruto and Sakura attacked simultaneously. Both landed their initial strikes, but found their arms pinned. Ekyt had twisted his body in such a way that he caught one of their arms beneath his own, trapping them tightly. He stepped forward, forcing them both to the ground.

“Well, well, you not only survived, but you counter-attacked. Defense and offense as one movement. The seal is entirely possible for you. I need to remove your own seal first. That’s going to hurt, though. Chakra flowing back into your body at such a high rate isn’t natural. There’s more, however- it is important that NO ONE HELP HIM. His pain must stay his pain. Even if it’s your wish to take the pain from him, you MUST NOT get involved. Either of you.”

The miko finished her speech. Ekyt was clearly exhausted, so she sank down to his level. They were both sitting on the ground. Ekyt’s body was marred with scratches and bruises. Sakura and Naruto had held back a little, though it was still impressive that Ekyt did as well as he did.

“You did well, warrior. Now, once again I thank you. I certainly hope that you can escape this order with the ability to seal and without hatred for me. My techniques are extreme, I understand, and I’m kind of mean to you, aren’t I? But understand that it’s my job to make sure you’re prepared for what comes ahead. Go back under the waterfall. It will help dull the pain you’ll be feeling. After that, the seal will be within your grasp.”

“Is that right? Well, it’s I who owe you a debt of gratitude. I’ll go ahead and get under the waterfall now. If I might ask you a favor…”

Ekyt dug out his wallet- his REAL wallet- and handed over a generous amount. “Please treat everyone to dinner on my behalf. I don’t want them to see me suffer more than I already have. I understand now- it was wrong of me to conceal so much from them. But, some things are private, and I…”

Ekyt seemed less like a warrior and more like a regular boy, concerned with appearances.

“I…I just don’t want them to see me at my worst. And I need some time to myself to think. To sort things out. A lot has happened already; and so much more will happen soon. If it won’t violate my training…”

The miko took the money. “I’d say that’s fine. No matter how much one strives to attain a state of nothingness in the mind, it’s my belief that simple vanity will remain. I don’t see how it hurts to indulge vanity now and then. Sometimes, it’s even less painful for those around you.”

The miko took a look at Ekyt as she walked away. He had his head down, and his eyes were dark and pain-laden.
But that’s not all the pain of the seal being released. There’s another pain. Support from his friends or not, in the end, this will be defeated by his hand. Friends will just hasten the pain’s defeat. Some wounds run very deep, however. The closer they are to the heart, the larger the emotional scarring.
His heart may very well be a mass of scars.

-

The water roared overhead, creating a picturesque scene. A mix of nature’s tranquility and harshness all in one package. The water rained down, falling into the small pond at the bottom. The pond led to a stream that fed the water into a large valley.

Ekyt sat on a large rock that was directly underneath the powerful spray of the water. He sat perfectly still, though pain coursed through him again and again. The mist hid him mostly from view; though there was no one to hide from. Still, the solitude helped Ekyt put his body at ease despite the pain. His mind was active, as always.

I was never meant to be a part of this. This world, my ideal world. I was supposed to be somewhere else. But I forced fate to bring me here, and I don’t regret it. I almost cherish the mix of heartache, jealousy, and happiness I get when I see Naruto and Sakura together. It reminds me that I’m human; a distinction I longed to rid myself of. Humans are such impractical creatures; always fussing over looks, or smells, or anything impractical. Planning for peace instead of readying for war. But now that I’ve lived with them, I see that maybe being human isn’t so bad. So, maybe I WAS meant to be here. Despite the pain and losses and frustration, I feel more complete as a person. I don’t have all the answers. Now that I admit that, it seems easier to accept. Fighting the inevitable will only earn you extra pain.
But is that right? All human emotions bring me are pain. When I wore the mask and at least pretended I didn’t have emotions, it was so much easier to live. But it wasn’t easy to deny the feelings I started to get. Love for the village, love for Ojou- …Sakura. Then love for Azami. All the same, those real feelings led to pain.
Maybe part of being human is not understanding the whats and whys of the world. Maybe being human means taking what life has given you, and making the most of it.

The thought made him sigh deeper. He lowered his head more, not yet feeling his chakra return. It would take time and pain, the miko had said. He just had to be patient. The water pushing against his skin helped him focus on anything but the pain. His thoughts inflicted mental wounds. But some wounds healed. Some were too hard to comprehend.

I still love Azami. But what if someone else comes along? Did Azami truly desert me? There’s no doubt she could have killed if she truly tried. So, then, she held back. Was it to discourage me from following her? If she had a problem, she’d have told me- wouldn’t she?
…
No. She was so strong this whole time, and I never knew it. She, on the other hand, could gauge my skills accurately, and knew that I couldn’t come out on top in that fight. She seemed genuinely surprised that I fought as much as I did. But does that means she thought me to be weak to begin with? Is that why shouldn’t couldn’t tell me what was going on?
Or, the other potential truth: She’s genuinely evil, and I was blinded by my love for her and didn’t notice. Until I speak to her again, there’s no way for me to tell.

Ekyt felt pain well up in his chest, directly under where the seal had been placed. The top left corner of the ward began to burn. The flames licked Ekyt’s chest, but inside of him is where it hurt. A particularly nasty shot of pain forced him to breathe in quickly while clenching a fist. Slowly, he unclenched his fist and breathed out. The pain dulled slightly.

I see. The faster the ward burns, the more pain I feel. I can control it to some extent. My chakra is returning. So, then how does this seal work? Is it dependent on my chakra, or my opponent’s chakra? Is it me putting chakra into their body through a ward? Or does the ward just seal their chakra?

Night had begun to fall, and the water got cold very quickly. A few minutes of freezing told Ekyt to get out from under the waterfall. He climbed up on the roof (still chakra-less) of the temple, looking up at the moon. It was three/fourths full tonight, and shone very brightly. The white-blue light offered no warmth. Instead, it offered a pretty, serene picture. Normally, Ekyt’s nights were spent in frantic study. Moon gazing while he was unable to study seemed to be okay. He could clear his thoughts up here just as well as anywhere else.

It’s peaceful…

There was a ‘whump’ sound, and suddenly Ekyt wasn’t alone. The miko had come to moon gaze as well, apparently. She sat down near Ekyt, checking the seal on his chest.

“By morning your chakra will have returned in full,” she informed him. He nodded in reply before asking one of his many questions.

“If the ward were to be ripped off…would my chakra still return? And what kind of side effects would I have?”

The miko smoothed her hakama as she sat formally. “Nature is certainly beautiful,” she commented, happy with the serenity of the moment. “But to answer your questions- your chakra would return, but it would likely have a similar effect to…well, to put it this way: Imagine that waterfall ran dry. The pond below it would dry up, and soon the river would as well. That’s what the ward does to your body, except with chakra. Now imagine a flood. A horrible downpour. The banks would overflow on the river. That’s what would happen to your body if you removed the seal quickly. You chakra would expand so quickly that your body would suffer massive damage. I don’t know the extent of the damage, but it would be enough to ruin any fight for you.”

Ekyt thanked her for the answer, then asked his next question: “How does the ward work?”

“It puts your chakra into someone else’s body. Similar to breaking a genjutsu…” the miko paused to shift her position to a less formal one, then continued. “…Except that your chakra actually stops their chakra flow as long as the ward is active. Your chakra will branch out in response to the…spell, for want of a better word, the user puts on the ward, and will block your opponent’s tenketsu. As long as you maintain a minor focus on the ward, their chakra will stay blocked. This cuts into your chakra, but it makes the other person far less dangerous. For example, if you were to fight with one of those jonin downstairs, chakra vs. chakra, it would be a hard match. But if you took their chakra out of the equation, they would have to fight without ninjutsu, genjutsu, or chakra-enhanced taijutsu. Even the chakra gates would be blocked.”

This struck Ekyt as surprising. Not the material- that all made sense. But the fact that this miko knew so much of the shinobi arts. He decided that was a question for another time, however.

“Now it’s my turn to ask a question: Who is it your heart pines for, warrior? I feel there was another besides the kunoichi with the pink hair…” The miko seemed strangely curious. Ekyt, only knowing females by stereotype, assumed it was a gossip topic or something. Perhaps even started by Sakura herself.

“You’re a sharp girl. There was another. She was the most cold, ruthless bounty hunter you can imagine. I met her in a dream, if you can believe that. But then, as if by fate, we met in person. In less than a month, there were few I trusted more than her. We were close. Then, one day, we were to fight in a couples tournament. She was to be my new partner for missions, since I don’t have a squad of my own. But before the tournament, I knew something was wrong. I thought it was a genjutsu, and I went to comfort her. She asked me for a kiss. Where I come from, I’m considered incredibly shy. But for her…anything. So I kissed her. That’s when she stabbed me. The first time, I mean. She returned to finish me a few days later. I fought her and her comrades. I gave all I had. When all was said and done, I barely scratched the enemies. And she showed me just how far below her I was. She could have killed me so many times…but she held back. But that made me wonder…”
Ekyt paused, steadying himself. He hadn’t told anyone else about his suspicions yet. Somehow, this shrine maiden seemed to be the perfect one to tell.

“…It made me wonder if I drove her to this. If it was my weakness. Not my weakness as a fighter, but my weakness as a person. Was I someone she could open up to? Could she come to me with her problems? In the end, I opened up to her, and I burdened her with my problems. But she didn’t feel she could trust me enough to tell me her’s. Her problems were a burden I’d have readily taken on. She knew that, I’m sure. So now I wonder- just what happened? And the answer I got was that some outside force made her do this. She had no choice in the matter. She was blackmailed or something like that. All I know is that I’ve got to help her. Even if the truth IS that I’m not good enough for her, or that she really is evil…I’m responsible for her. I brought her to my village. I don’t know how much she knows. But if she has to be stopped, it has to be me that stops her.”

The miko twirled her naginata, watching the moon reflect off of it. “Do you still love her?”

“…I do.”

“Could you love another?”

“…I think so. But I’ve only ever been in love twice, and my track record is dismal. So I don’t know if I could even try again. I’m…y’know…damaged goods now. Who wants a guy with a crippling mental issue no one else can see? To them, it’s just weakness.”

“You are a thoughtful boy, warrior. But you’re also a complete idiot!”

The miko fired up. She grabbed Ekyt by the waistband of his pants and hauled him to his feet.
“Do all those people down there, worried for your safety, mean nothing to you? How can you say that this problem of yours is ‘just a weakness’. Damn it, you’re exasperating! You take one step forward, then two steps back! Get it in your skull that those people give a damn about you. They’ll do ANYTHING to help you! Just TELL THEM WHAT YOU’RE FEELING! Don’t hold back!”

Ekyt narrowed his eyes, his mouth set. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Those people’s hearts are pure as new fallen snow. I won’t let them carry my burdens. I would take on their burdens, if I could. But to ask someone to take away a part of your life…it’s weakness. Before you yell at me, I’ll tell you why: Because you learn from loss. You learn from getting knocked on your @$$, then having to haul yourself back up. I can trust those people with my whole heart, but I won’t let them take on the one, tiny cross I have to bear!”

The miko was taken aback, and showed it with her mannerisms, but Ekyt wasn’t done.

“When my problems get too heavy, I’ll call on them. But now, this…this problem. It’s nothing! The girls down their fought over the same boy for years. The pink-haired one lost him. But she found another. The blonde boy- he’s been shunned and alone for most of his life. But now he has friends. The sensei with the mask lost all his friends and family. All of them down there have had a misfortune greater than mine.”

The miko nodded her head. “You’re as kind as they believe. But do you understand that you’re making them worry? They don’t want you to keep secrets like that. They want you to be honest and open. If you can’t do something, tell them, and they’ll help you through it. If you truly want to protect them, and you’re willing to give your life to do it, you first have to let them become a part of your life. And I know just the drill to make you do that. The last drill: Planting the tag and maintaining it.”

“Maintaining it? What do you mean?”

“You’ll see, warrior. I’ll gather your friends.”

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