Chapter 42 - Naruto's Surprise

Note: So, the last few chapters have been pretty intense! Ekyt retires, gets a new job, almost dies, takes a life…a lot to swallow. So, enjoy this chapter, it’s a little goofy, but that’s what makes it perfect after all that make-or-break action!



Naoto woke up, seeing his new teacher tapping the blackboard with the very bone that had shocked Naoto into unconsciousness. In rage, he reared back and threw a kunai at Ekyt.

Ekyt simply turned and let the kunai whiz by. It stuck in the wall. This infuriated Naoto more, and he rushed Ekyt. Ekyt put the bone down on his desk, while the class watched eagerly. POOF! He was gone!

“Naoto, this rage issue needs work,” Ekyt said calmly, standing on the ceiling, courtesy of chakra concentration. He let himself fall back down, landing gracefully on the first row of desks.
“Attacking the teacher at random is NOT something I’m going to tolerate.”

Naoto roared with anger and attacked again. Ekyt parried his fist and swept his legs.

“Are you done, Naoto? I’m in the middle of a lecture, and I really need to finish. Now, go sit down.”

Naoto ignored Ekyt and weaved his hands together.
“Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique!” Naoto shouted, smirking confidently. That confidence evaporated as Ekyt smiled.

“Release. Now, enough of this, sit down before I have to punish you.” Ekyt threatened.


“YOU IDIOT! THAT’S THE ‘DRAGON BOY’! GENJUTSU IS HIS SPECIALTY! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TRY ATTACKING HIM LIKE THAT?!” shouted one girl in the front row.

“Alright, that’s enough. Thank you. Now, I have to step out for a minute. Just finish copying what I’ve written, I’ll be right back.” Ekyt walked out of the room, as most of the students got to work. Naoto was still rooted to the spot, either with rage or shock.




The girl in the front row smirked. “Fool! Hey, everyone! Keep this quiet! I’m gonna have a little fun with your new teacher! Believe it!” Naruto declared, as he perched a bucket of water on a ledge just above the door. The class buzzed with anticipation. THIS was Naruto Uzumaki, a hero! One who had just defeated their instructor! They had all heard the story. But to see the legendary prankster in action…


Ekyt walked back in. SPLASH!

“Ah, damnit!” he cursed at the bucket of water. The bucket was still on his head, giving Naruto time to change back into the girl he had been impersonating before.

“Dragon’s Ember Jutsu: Clone Instigation,” Ekyt muttered. A clone of Ekyt popped out, snickered at him, then used the fire jutsu on him. Ekyt was dry again, as the fire didn’t singe him or his clothes.

“I won’t ask who put that bucket there. I’ll only say it had better not happen again…” Ekyt looked around the room, eyes looking forbidding. The class was still snickering, despite their sempai’s serious tone.

“Sensei, I have a question!” the girl (Naruto) asked, walking up to his desk. Roughly, ‘she’ pushed Ekyt into his chair. Then, grinning from ear to ear, she said “Sexy Jutsu!”

The beautiful, nude, girl-version of Naruto made her appearance, sitting sexily on Ekyt’s desk. So far, Ekyt had fought the nosebleed. But the next series of moves cracked him.
“Ekyt-sempai, you have SO much knowledge…maybe you could teach me…I’m all yours, sempai…just do whatever you want…or…maybe I’ll just get us started, you naughty boy!” The girl had slid off the desk, and onto the stunned Ekyt’s lap. She curled up, close to him, and began to whisper. WHATEVER she had said finally ruined Ekyt. Just as he had done to Iruka years ago, Naruto had claimed Ekyt as another victim of the Sexy Jutsu. Ekyt sailed backward, blooding arching from his nose, until he hit the wall at the top of the classroom. He rolled, end over end, down the steps, a dazed look on his face when he hit the bottom.



Naruto undid his transformation. “HAH! GOTCHA, YOU PERVERTED SAMURAI!” he shouted, laughing at Ekyt.

“CUT THE STUPID TRICKS! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!!” Ekyt shouted. Whoa…deja vu deluxe…where have I heard this before?

Naruto turned around to do a celebratory dance on the desks while the students cheered. To them, Ekyt was little more than a substitute teacher. And what are substitute teachers for but abusing?

Ekyt, wiping the blood away, saw his opportunity to take a page from Kakashi’s book. He took a deep stance behind Naruto, and made the Dragon hand sign.

“Konoha’s Secret Finger Technique: 1000 Years of Death!” Ekyt shouted. He jammed Naruto in the rectal area with the tiger handsign, then sent him sailing, bouncing his head off the ceiling.




After class, Ekyt met Iruka for ramen. Naruto was going to be joining them shortly. While he wasn’t there, Ekyt recounted how the day had gone. Iruka laughed, he couldn’t help it.

“Been there. Naruto snuck into class? That’s ironic, he wouldn’t come to class under his own power before! I remember when I caught him, after he defaced Hokage Mountain. Still that kid has a way of MAKING you believe in him. Looking at him now, I can’t believe he’s still the little prankster he used to be a couple years ago. Guess some things never change.”

“He does at that,” Ekyt agreed. “I see the next Naruto already. Naoto Urashi.”

Iruka chuckled again. “Oh, Naoto. I probably should have warned you about him. He’s not QUITE like Naruto. He’s actually mean-spirited. He’s got an ego as big as Naruto’s mouth, because his family, the Urashi clan, is a big importer of good Konoha needs. So he thinks he can trash-talk anyone.”

“Guess how long I put up with it for?” Ekyt said with a laugh. “I pulled a bone out of my shoulder, and he fainted. Then he tried genjutsu on me. I really thought about putting one on him, but Naruto kind of interrupted that. It would have been fun to see what images his mind conjured up with a genjutsu…”

Iruka was enjoying the banter. He talked about his mishaps with his two students. But he had one more question for Ekyt.

“Have you told Sakura yet? I mean, she’s free now…” Iruka was an intelligent man. It was kind of unspoken, but he and Anko Mitarashi had been dating on and off. Maybe not dating, but they were the same age, and hung out, and had similar positions.

“I haven’t told her how I feel, no. It don’t want it to seem like I was waiting for her and Sasuke to fall apart. That’s partially the truth of it. But I WANTED them to be happy. Oh well. At least I’ve got a reason to watch the chunin exams this year, instead of trying to dodge them.”

That was when it clicked with Ekyt. “Who’s your third member, Iruka-sensei? You’ve Yuuka Momoka, Okkuu Kazuki…but who’s the third?”

Iruka shrugged. “Well, no one is NEAR ready…and my personal choice retired, so I don’t know…” Now Iruka was smiling widely. Take the bait, Ekyt! Naruto went to a lot of work to make sure you’d come out of retirement like this. Naruto…a hard of gold, and a head of rock!

“Retired? You don’t mean- me?” Ekyt stammered knocking hot ramen into his lap. “YEOW! Sonofadog, that burns!” Ekyt cursed leaping up and trying to walk the pain off.

“Yes, I mean you. But since you’re retired…(big fake sigh)I guess I’ll just have to put an untalented genin at risk. It’s a shame, you could have been chunin, and then trained your replacement on my team. Oh well, too late, you retired so- huh?”

“PardonmeIruka-sensei, gottaseeHokage!” Ekyt was off and running tripping over his own feet. Iruka sat back and smiled. Tsunade knows, of course. It’s about time that kid got a break. And I’ll worry less about my kids taking the chunin exams if they’re with him. They’re still pretty raw, but passable. They’ve got natural talent, and a well-rounded warrior like Ekyt would help smooth their edges.



Ekyt sped up, aiming for the window. What he didn’t know was that Shizune had just cleaned the window.


BONK!



Tsunade turned around just in time to see Ekyt hit the window. He stuck there for a moment (kind of like one of those “stuck on me” Garfield figures, lol), then peeled off the window, falling onto the ledge below. Tsunade shook her head, giggling merrily.

“Men are idiots…I guess we’d better open the window. I forgot that’s how he usually makes his entrance. TONTON!”

Tsunade heard the pig’s squeals and oinks all down the hallway. Invariably, Tonton managed to hit Genma Shiranui’s foot, and every time he cursed: “You damn pig! If you didn’t belong to the Hokage, I’d make you into sausage patties!”

Tsunade shook her head. You’d think he’d learn to move by now. It’s not like Tonton runs quietly, she’s a pig! Oh, right, Ekyt. I’d better let him in.




“Yes, Cell 16, Kaguya, Ekyt. But you just retired…don’t you want to stay that way?” Tsunade asked, trying to stay serious. Only Naruto could concoct such a scenario…he finds a way to pull this depressed kid out of retirement, give his life meaning again, and get him what he wants. Even I’M starting to believe Naruto will be Hokage some day.

“If I have to, I will. But if I can be on Iruka-sensei’s team, I want to be…If there’s finally a place for me, that’s what I’ve wanted all along.” Ekyt looked embarrassed, prompting Tsunade to, of course, take advantage.

Tsunade gave him a smirk. “Well, how can I say no to that face? But understand this: I expect you to carry this team. They are in the exams because you have the ability to protect them. If anything happens to them, it’s on your head. I don’t want two dead genin. I want three living chunin.”

“I understand. Also…if I may…I miss ANBU…now that I’ve taken a life, I want to go back- after I’ve proven everyone wrong and become a chunin. Thank you, Tsunade-sama, for believing in me. You were the last holdout. The others might hate me, but they believe in me. You might be the first to be both,” Ekyt added with a smile. Tsunade rolled her eyes, then ruffled Ekyt’s hair.

“Just go and win, okay? THEN you can fight Naruto again, and get your win there. And maybe that’ll give you the courage to tell a certain kunoichi how you feel, hmm?” Tsunade couldn’t resist teasing Ekyt, he was an easy target. She was shocked when he fired back, though.

Ekyt, whose good mood had peaked, smiled widely. “Okay. I will…It’s been you all along, Tsunade-sama. I’ve dreamt about you every night. Marry me, and let’s have ten kids!” Ekyt offered.

Shizune cracked up. Not even Tsunade had seen that coming. Once the shock wore off, Tsunade found herself laughing at the joke.

“One of a kind…that’s what you are. One of a kind…Thank God.”

Ekyt agreed. “Thank God indeed. So, when are the chunin exams?”

Tsunade tapped a calendar on her desk. One date had a red circle around it. The 2nd…tomorrow.

“Um, that’s tomorrow, right?” Ekyt asked, a sweatdrop growing in size on his head.

“Yup. ‘fraid so kiddo. Maybe you’d better go meet your squad. Oh, and while you’re out, Sakura will be teaching, so don’t worry about that. In fact, you might find yourself lecturing at the 3rd part of the chunin exams: I’ve asked Sakura to bring your class along. After seeing you fight, maybe you’ll garner a little more respect from them. I heard you’ve met the Urashi kid.”

Ekyt shook his head. “Let me guess: Iruka sent him to you more than once?”

“That, and he tried to deface my office when I called him a nasty little prick,” Tsunade added, flicked one pigtail aside. “Now, go meet your team!”

“But you never said if you’d marry me or not…” Ekyt protested, leaping out the door. A fraction of a second later, Tsunade’s calendar hit where his head had been with enough force to dent the wall.

“That kid…well, he’s finally getting his chance to prove us all wrong. I’d bet on him, but that’s bad luck- for him…”

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