Chapter 4 - A Deadly Request

Ryouko couldn’t sleep, and for one good reason. He hadn’t been the one to perform the mental exam on Sakura, but from what he had been told, Sasuke’s capture had damaged her psyche. That kind of damage repaired itself, but it took time and understanding. Sometimes, things like this struck in dreams. Ryouko felt like a stalker, but he was waiting for Sakura to go to sleep. If she had a dream, like he thought she would, he could help her through it. That was all he could do. The rest would depend on her will. But Ryouko wasn’t worried- Sakura’s will was strong. Stronger, perhaps, than most anyone’s.

Sakura, who had finally fallen asleep, had started to twist and gasp. As a long shot, Ryouko tried to sense chakra in the air. Nope, nada, so it wasn’t a genjutsu. It was something worse. Ryouko took off, getting to her side quickly. He couldn’t wake her up while the dream was this bad, or he risked more damage to her psyche. Ryouko nodded to Naruto and Sai, who both restrained him. Ryouko thanked them, even as he tried to help Sakura. He bit his lip in frustration.

I can’t help her! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Sai and Naruto are doing the right thing by stopping me, like I asked. But this is really bad! I need to save her! How can she love someone who can’t even help her in her hour of need? I’m too weak…this is the worst feeling in the world. You’re helpless, watching someone you really care about writhe in pain. You want to stop the pain, even if it means taking it on yourself. Why does she have to suffer?! What did she do wrong?! Why can’t I be the one to suffer?! I can take it! I can take it! Please, don’t let her hurt! Let ME take her pain. I can’t stand watching this! Please, Sakura, fight it! Don’t let it damage you any more!

Ryouko knew his thinking would become irrational. Sai and Naruto had to really fight him. His thoughts were getting borderline insane, and he had to word really hard to control them. Finally, Sakura went limp, and Naruto and Sai let go of Ryouko. He immediately dropped beside her, checking her vitals. She was fine, but shaken up, and would be awakening any second…he hoped.

--

“Sasuke, no! Don’t do this!” Sakura begged. But Sasuke was going to have his way with her. She couldn’t fight it.

“Don’t fight me, Sakura-chan…” Sasuke warned. He removed his gi top and tried to kiss her.

“No!” Ryouko grabbed Sasuke and threw him away from Sakura, standing between the two. Sasuke smirked and threw kunai and senbon, all aimed at Ryouko. But Ryouko couldn’t move, or Sakura would get hit. He had freed her, somehow, and now pushed her out of the way as kunai rained on him. Sakura watched, horrified, as Ryouko coughed up blood, multiple stab wounds covering his slender torso.

“She’s mine!” Sasuke declared, punching Ryouko. Ryouko’s head hit the wall, cracking the plaster. From his sitting position, he kicked, smashing Sasuke in the face, driving him backward. Ryouko took his own kunai up and leapt back in front of Sakura. It was unnerving to see knives sticking out of him, but Sakura felt calmer. She could only stare while the two boys dueled. There was no way this was going to end without a death. But who’s?

Sakura realized that she was missing her skirt and her vest, and covered up, embarrassed. Suddenly, Ryouko’s trench coat was covering her, while he fought on without it. It’s warmth seemed to breathe new life into Sakura…

--

Sakura sat up with a start, cold sweat dripping off her head onto her shoulders. Her shoulders were bare, but now they were covered with a coat? Sakura recognized the warmth from her dream. This coat had to be Ryouko’s. She turned slowly to find Naruto and Sai restraining him slightly, as he simultaneously fought them and himself. Once they saw she was awake, though, Naruto and Sai let go of Ryouko, and Ryouko zipped to Sakura’s side. Sakura didn’t know why, but she decided she had to-

GLOMP!

Sakura grabbed Ryouko and pulled him into a hug. He didn’t ask for an explanation, he just tried to be as comforting as he could. Ryouko pulled the coat back on to Sakura’s shoulders as it began to slip. This small gesture made Sakura even more affectionate. The coat had been her sole source of warmth in her most terrifying hour, and if Ryouko was giving it to her, then that warmth was an extension of him. Or so Sakura’s terrified mind reasoned. She was now crying, balling up her fist while gripping Ryouko’s shirt, apparently fighting for control of herself. Ryouko sat still and let her do what she needed/wanted; that was best for now. He couldn’t watch her go through that again. It was mortifying, to sit back and let someone suffer.

“It’s okay, sempai. It’s alright, it was just a dream. I know it must have been terrifying, but it was really just a dream. You’re okay, you’re safe, you’re with friends. Calm down now, it’s okay…” Ryouko hoped he was speaking calmly. It was hard to tell- he himself was scared out of his mind. First he couldn’t help Sakura, and now she was hugging him? His ‘fear’ of kunoichi withstanding, Ryouko knew he couldn’t dwell on that. No one else could help Sakura. He, Sakura, and Sasuke were the only three in the room that day. Like it or not, what happened had happened, and there was no taking it back. Ryouko guessed that Sakura had somehow formed an attachment to him. To tell her now wouldn’t work, she was too distressed. For now, it was better to let her go, and get this emotion out of her system. As scary as it was, it was better than sitting there, watching her suffer.

But I HAVE to tell her…even if this were to lead to the relationship I admittedly want, this is the wrong way to do it. Once we’re home…I’ll tell her, and she can decide what she wants. Right now, I’m a source of comfort, and that’s one more source than most others get. So even though I feel like a grade-A @$$ for doing it, I will let her cling to me, if necessary, to get her back to normal. Whatever it takes...Even if that price is my life, or my heart…

Sakura sized up Ryouko, holding his shoulders.

“Thank you…” was all she said; all she NEEDED to say. Ryouko could only smile and nod, and pull the coat around her again.

“Wear that as long as you like, if it helps you,” Ryouko offered. Sakura still hadn’t let go of him; she was just staring at him, though her stare wasn’t cold. It wasn’t love either. But it was definitely appreciative. And who knew what that could lead to? It had to be nipped in the bud before it became too painful for everyone involved.

“Thanks, I will…I never DID thank you for saving me…” Sakura began. Ryouko smiled and shook his head.

“You did. Many times over. Now, try to get some more rest. The last thing your psyche needs is lack of sleep, on top of everything else. If you’d like, I can put you in a protective genjutsu that induces sleep. To be safe, if there’s a fight, and either you or I is hurt, then you’ll wake up and be able to defend yourself.”

Sakura thought about the offer. It went against the grain, but she nodded.

“Okay. I trust you. Go ahead…but please, can one of you stay with me? I’m not worried about the dream…I’m worried about what I’ll do to myself. I haven’t felt this helpless in a long time, and I’m worried I’ll…hurt myself, I guess. Or at least be paralyzed with fear…”

Naruto volunteered, but Sai objected. “No, it sure be Ryouko-kun. He knows the mind better than us, Naruto-kun. And he seems to have a calming effect on Sakura-chan. You and I are more than able to take on the duty of combat. That can change as necessary, such as Ryouko-kun being our ‘ambassador’.”

POOF!

Ryouko was up in an instant, though he lowered his guard upon seeing who it was.

“Captain Yamato?! What are you doing here?!” Naruto exclaimed, not sure whether he was happy to see Yamato or not. Yamato was back with a smile, though his eyes were serious.

“Ryouko-san, this mission is being terminated for you. There’s no longer need for torture/interrogation. Not yet. The Fifth Hokage sent me to cover for you. She was insistent that you come home immediately following my message, no questions asked.”

“That’s fine and good, but there’s just been a development here that Lady Tsunade is not aware of. It’s important that I see this through…”

Yamato was, at least, willing to listen first. Ryouko took him aside and outlined what happened, trying to emphasize that he should stay with her. Yamato nodded, and spoke into his field mic, but apparently received a response in the negative, because he still told Ryouko he had to go.

“Sakura’s in a sleep caused by genjutsu. Please don’t remove my coat from her. I explained that it’s kind of a security blanket right now. But more than that, it’s…well, protected by some jutsus that will prevent anyone from removing. It’s not an issue of trust, Captain Yamato…” Ryouko looked at the peacefully sleeping Sakura “…It’s just that I don’t want her to be hurt by all this. She couldn’t take it. I just watched her suffer through a dream that must have scared the holy hell out of her, and I couldn’t do anything. Just…promise me you’ll send her back if she has a dream like that. You’ll be able to tell. Or, at least, send for me. I’ll face court martial, demotion, whatever- The fact remains that I may be the only one who can help her, until Sasuke is no longer a problem.”

Yamato patted Ryouko’s shoulder. “I understand. I hope it won’t come to that. If you don’t mind advice…do what Lady Tsunade asks. It might not be to your liking one hundred percent, but it’s very important you follow her wishes.”

Ryouko gave a slow now, trying to coax Yamato into saying more. He wasn’t biting, so Ryouko said his goodbyes and disappeared back to the Leaf Village, already apologizing to Sakura in his mind.

--

Tsunade laid her cards on the table to the befuddled Ryouko. He shook his head a little at her suggestion.

“It’s time for you to die,” she had said. Meaning something else entirely, but still, hearing those words just caused Ryouko to immediately hate the idea. He had trained hard to stay alive, not to ‘die’, no matter what the sense of the word.

“You want me to ‘die’- that is, get in a fight, and allow myself to get destroyed, then fake my own death? Before I even consider this, you’ll have to explain to me what good this does the village…and what good it does me. Not to be selfish, but I’ve still got to think of myself a little bit. What you’re asking is a lot…” Ryouko hadn’t said any of this in an unfriendly way, but then again, he might have been too shocked to be angry.

Tsunade had her hands clasped in front of her, sitting calmly in her chair.

“I know, and I don’t want to ask it of anyone…but I know I can trust you. The village needs a martyr, a hero. We pulled together as a nation when the Third Hokage died, or so I was told. To fix the Leaf- we need someone people know to die, and die in a way that makes loyalty to the village look glamorous. Ryouko, this is the Leaf’s hour of need…” Tsunade nodded to Shizune, who was clearly apprehensive about handing over the documents in her hand. She did at Tsunade’s impatient growl. Tsunade handed them to Ryouko, who was greeted with shocking news.

“THAT BAD?! What could…never mind, not my business. Okay, but I want a say in WHO I lose to, and WHO gets told about what happened.”

“No one can know…” Tsunade replied. Ryouko gave his head a firm shake.

“You’re misunderstand, Lady Fifth. Sakura, you’re apprentice, is in a DIRE medical state. If she thinks that her ‘security blanket’ has been killed, it will do damage to her. Irreversible damage. You know as well as I do that I’m not making this up. I want Team Kakashi and several jonin whose names I’ll write down informed about this.”

Tsunade knew Ryouko wasn’t going to budge. And this was her last chance, she had to make it count. Finally, she nodded to Ryouko’s demands, which were actually little more than courteous requests.

“Alright, they’ll be informed. Now, who did you want to lose to? I know you’ll hate this, but we’ve got to portray you as a turncoat, at least at first. After you die, I’ll find some ‘evidence’ that you’re innocent. But, for now, we’ve got to make you seem like a real threat…”

Ryouko leaned forward, suddenly getting an idea. “Lady Fifth, people KNOW there’s friction between you and I…what if we played off that. To make me the biggest jerk possible, I could…What if I kidnapped you? Kakashi-sensei could find me, and him and I could fight. I’ll let him hit me with the Raikiri. Not that I could stop him anyway…You ‘wake up’, restore order, and have my body ‘destroyed’…”

Tsunade nodded, agreeing to the idea. It was exciting. Of course, Ryouko had to hit her with the question she had been dreading to answer. It was clear to Tsunade- she wasn’t going to tell anyone but Kakashi what was going to happen, no matter what Ryouko asked. It was in the best interests of the village; even if it meant betraying his trust.

“So what happens to me once I’m ‘dead’?” Ryouko asked. Tsunade froze, sucking in her breath.

“Well, you would continue your work in ANBU…”

Ryouko leaned forward. “You’re not telling me something, Lady Fifth. You’re NEVER this skittish, so it’s not something you’re comfortable telling me. There are only a few things that could make me mad. Then one sure-fire thing you could do is withhold information crucial to my mission, which is what you’re doing now. Despite what you’d like to believe, Lady Fifth, I hold the cards in this situation. What I’m asking is reasonable: A few people know what’s going on, and that you tell me the full extent of what you’re asking me…what aren’t you telling me, and why?”

Tsunade looked Ryouko in the eyes. He knew full well that he had just pushed her buttons. Tsunade knew it too, and was thankful. She needed to get the “Hokage Fire” going to tell him this.

“I want you to go to Otogakure and perform reconnaissance and sabotage. I want you to ruin the Sound Village from the inside. That’s why I wanted you to ‘die’…it was the only way to get you to the Sound Village without people REALLY thinking you’re a turncoat.”

Ryouko stroked his chin. He knew he had no choice, but he COULD dictate the terms a little more…

“I want to change the story. Tell people I was leaving for Otogakure because you refused me promotion to chunin. That’s close to the truth, and with our history, it should make people believe, without making you look bad, and without making me look bad- only frustrated. Then, Kakashi-sensei catches me at the gate, and we put on the show.”

Ryouko turned to leave. But he stopped at the door and looked back.

“Please don’t double-cross me, Lady Fifth. I want to trust you, despite our history.”

Tsunade suddenly felt like a grade-A heel.

--

Ryouko sighed heavily. He didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t. But there was no choice in the matter. So he took out his journal and wrote a little bit, just to stop worrying for now.

…So that’s what she asked me to do. I don’t want to. I love it here. But that’s exactly WHY I have to do it. I have to betray the village to save it. This would be much less difficult if I didn’t have to act like a traitor. I HATE traitors. And Sasuke…I have to work with him now, and probably serve that little bastard. If he even HINTS about aiming for Sakura again…Maybe I’ll go temporarily insane and cripple him.

I couldn’t do that, though. In the end, I would only kill or cripple if I was defending another person directly. If he puts his hands on Sakura again, THEN I’ll give this some thought…

I am going to write the following twice…

Tsunade will betray me, and not tell people what happened. It’s a fact. I have prepared for that, and will contact who I need to, one way or another.

Sakura…if you read this yourself, please understand, I don’t want to hurt you. And this is hard for me to write…it’s really hard…but you need to know the truth…any affection you felt for me the past few weeks came as a result of me rescuing you. I really care about you, and that’s why you should know the truth. I couldn’t keep it from you. If/When we meet again, I hope you’ll have forgiven me by that point.


Ryouko pulled a page out of the journal and tossed it on his bed. He could direct Team Kakashi to his apartment before ANBU came, if need be. He had to make sure they got that note first. It was the only way to salvage his honor at this point.

--

Ryouko lay back, defeated, blood dripping from his mouth, and from the various dog bites. Kakashi’s hand was glowing with the blue energy that would spell the end for him.

“Raikiri!”

Briefly, Ryouko wondered what would happen if he DID die. But he couldn’t let himself go just yet. So, with Kakashi’s help, he escaped down into the hole where the dogs had come from, using the Earth Style: Head Hunter Jutsu. Now, it was time to make a new life, serving one of his biggest enemies.

But as Ryouko sat underground, it occurred to him that this would be suicide. Orochimaru and Sasuke would kill him before they would trust him. Maybe it was time to get advice, THEN make his move. Whatever that move turned out to be…

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