Chapter 5 - One More Night

Sakura looked at the note in her hand, re-reading it again and again. It just didn’t seem real. How could it be? She clenched the note in one fist, trying to make sense of all this.

“How could Lady Tsunade ask this of him, and then betray his trust?” Sakura finally asked aloud. She kept the note to herself, since it was addressed to her, more or less, by content. She didn’t mention what exactly was said in the part about her and Ryouko. She knew that she would be thinking about it later, and most likely for a long time after that.

“It doesn’t matter…he followed orders…now he can help us even more…” Kakashi sat down on Ekyt’s bed, reading his book of questionable content, seemingly calm about all this.

“What do you mean?!” Naruto demanded; he didn’t get this at all.

“Sabotage…damage from the inside…” Sai muttered calmly. “He knows just where Orochimaru and Sasuke-kun are, and he can lead us to them, while slowing any progress they’re making…it’s a favorable position for us.”

“But not for him!” Sakura protested. She was wearing Ekyt’s coat, and resolved to until she found him and returned it personally. “He’s in serious danger, more danger than he can handle! He got lucky against Sasuke, and he wasn’t alone!”

Kakashi closed his book and stretched. “He’ll be fine, Sakura. He can hold his own against Sasuke, better than you think. And against Orochimaru…THAT one is in Ryouko-kun’s favor. Even he wouldn’t hold back against someone that evil.”

That point was agreed upon. Ryouko wasn’t a killer, but someone like Orochimaru might be the exception. One day, Ryouko had run up against Itachi Uchiha. No one would DARE face Itachi, but Ryouko did. And he gave Itachi a match, even forcing Itachi to withdraw after he had no choice but to use Tsukuyomi on Ryouko. Ryouko had been badly injured, but he had been applauded for facing Itachi. But Sasuke AND Orochimaru…without back up…that was pushing it. Ryouko wasn’t the most powerful, but his mentality was ‘win or die’, there was no middle ground. More accurately, it was ‘die in defense’, meaning that he would defend someone until he was physically unable to.

“Now, we can’t talk about this. If any of you are contacted by Ryouko, tell me ONLY once you’re sure it’s me your talking to. Say something about our team that only we would know. That also counts if you talk to each other. We have to keep this quiet. Also…and I know this will be hard…but in public, act like Ryouko is a traitor, and you can’t stand him.” Kakashi didn’t like giving that order, but he had to, if Ryouko’s mission was to succeed. In the back of his mind, Kakashi wasn’t really sure that Ryouko COULD handle this by himself, but there wasn’t much choice.

On a whim, Kakashi decided to check out the site where he and Ryouko had ‘fought’.

--

Kakashi knew there was someone underground. Kakashi also had a hunch on who it would be…

“I had a feeling, Ryouko…” Kakashi said, getting himself underground, too.

“There’s just so much I haven’t done, Kakashi-sensei. And I KNEW Lady Tsunade would betray my trust, that was never a question. But…well, what about Sakura? What about Katsuyori? What about ANBU? I felt pressured to take this assignment, and I said ‘sure’ at the time…but before I go…I want to wrap up my loose ends here…” Ryouko looked to the side, giving Kakashi a look at his black eye.

“So tie up the loose ends, then leave. If anyone can respect service to the village, I can. I’ll even help you out. Tell me ‘where’ and ‘when’, and ‘with who’, and I’ll set them up for you. I know Sakura, and the rest of my team, would love to talk to you before you do this…”

Ryouko didn’t say anything, aside from a nearly-silent ‘thank you’. But he looked Kakashi in the eye, and asked him a question, one that had been burning in his mind for a long time. There was no definitive answer, Ryouko knew that, but tit was still a curiosity to him.

“Kakashi-sensei…do I have any chance at all of becoming a great Shinobi? I know this is suicide…but will it be worth anything? I’d die for the Leaf Village…but if it’s a pointless death…”

Kakashi could sympathize. “Yes, you do have a chance. A GOOD chance. And no, it won’t be pointless. Yes, it’s true, death is likely- but then again, you’ve proven yourself adept at getting out of tight spots. If you’re alive after facing Itachi Uchiha, you’re at least at a jonin level…”

Ryouko’s eyes narrowed, making his expression almost angry. “Sensei…I think Itachi LET me live…WHY, I don’t know. But I think he let me off. I was beaten…he could have just put a kunai in me and been done with it. I didn’t have the strength to fight back, or even stand up. And he had his partner, that giant blue thing, Kisame. He hadn’t even fought yet…so why didn’t they kill me?”

Kakashi shrugged. “Itachi’s thinking is beyond a lot of us. He could have killed me, too. But he left us both alive, for one reason or another. But that isn’t ALL that’s bothering you, is it?”

Ryouko shook his head. “It’s…juvenile, really. I shouldn’t be concerned with this at all, but I…”

Kakashi tried to think of what could frustrate Ryouko like this. Slowly, it dawned on him.
Only Ryouko…it’s got to be Valentine’s day. I guess every warrior has his quirks. Mine is “Makeout Paradise”, Ryouko’s is shyness…

“Sakura, right? You don’t want to leave her alone yet…you don’t think your work with her is finished, right?”

Ryouko nodded. “Partially. And…well, even if I live, how long will I be gone? The people I care about should know. I knew I couldn’t trust the Fifth to pass that on.”

Kakashi stared at Ryouko for a little while, thinking about how to make this work. It meant going against Tsunade, but Ryouko had proven himself to be loyal, so Kakashi couldn’t see how this would be detrimental to the village.

“How about this: I’ll make sure you can talk with the people you want to talk with. After that, you and I will go to Lady Tsunade and find out more about this mission of yours. Sound fair?”

Ryouko cracked a half-smile. “It does. Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. It really means a lot…”

--

Sakura sat down by the river, puzzled as to why Kakashi-sensei would have her meet him here in the middle of the night. It was about some super-secret mission. But where were her teammates? Was this mission only for her or something? It was too weird. What if Kakashi-sensei really liked her, and wanted to give her something for Valentine’s Day.

No, that’s just wrong! Besides, it isn’t Kakashi-sensei’s style!

The river was flowing peacefully, contained by hand-made stone walls. The stones had been eroded, their once-jagged edges now becoming smoother and rounder. A blossom fell off a tree across the river and landed in the water. It was white, with a yellow center, shaped vaguely like a cup. The ‘cup’ floated while Sakura watched, until it was out of her site.

At one point, Sakura would have dreamed about some scene like this with Sasuke in the starring role as her lover. Sakura was SURE she would never love him again. Or had she been too young to even know real love? Was she STILL too young? It was altogether pretty confusing.

Sakura sighed, wishing, not for the first time that SOMEONE loved her.

-

Ryouko looked side to side before leaping into the next tree. Why did Kakashi pick HERE to meet, of all places.

By the river, at night? What’s he gonna do, hit on me or something? This is where you’d take a girl on a date, right? Then why would Kakashi- oh, duh! Sakura! Kakashi set this up? Wow, I never knew you could get so much out of reading perverted books all the time…

Ryouko wondered if he would ever find love; he had always wondered that. But it was so damn hard to know what girls looked for, and how to approach them. This clandestine meeting seemed…akward, while seeming perfect at the same time. It wasn’t a feeling that was easy to describe, or even deal with.

-

Sakura heard the sound of someone landing above her, but didn’t move yet. He was late, so it was most likely Kakashi-sensei. But then a dog trotted up to Sakura. She noticed it was Ryouko’s dog, Holly, a sweet (at least to Sakura) little Keeshonden. She had something tucked in her collar, and something bigger in her mouth.

“Here you are, Sakura. From my kid. He says he knows it isn’t White Day, but he obviously won’t be around for that. He was insistent that I come here first. He shouldn’t be far, but you know how shy he is…Anyway, these are for you.”

Holly jumped up onto the bench Sakura was sitting on, dropping flowers into her lap, and then, after scratching at her collar, a box of chocolate dropped onto Sakura’s lap as well. Sakura picked up both, amazed at Ryouko’s thoughtfulness.

“Thank you, Holly! Will your kid be around to see me in person?” Sakura had a feeling that Ryouko was actually in the tree just above her.

“Not a doubt in my mind…he told me he feels kind of responsible about everything that’s happened, and that he can’t leave the Leaf Village peacefully until he’s got everything in order.”

Sakura blushed a little, absently playing with a strand of her hair. “He’s that worried about me?” Sakura couldn’t believe that someone would be so concerned for her safety. It seemed out of character for Ryouko.

“Trust me- he IS worried. You read the note, right? Damned if the kid wasn’t in tears, trying to word that part about not hurting you. I haven’t seen him so emotional in a long time…” Holly scratched the ground nervously, as if SHE had written the note. “I’ve got to go now, Sakura. Take care. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again.”

Holly trotted off, claws making a ‘skitter’ sound on the stone street as she walked.

Tok.

Ryouko fell from the tree, landing on his feet, his mask in place. Clothed in the dark colors of ANBU, he blended in with the night.

“Hi…” he said quietly, almost embarrassed.

“Ryouko…” Sakura, despite Holly’s warnings, was surprised to see Ryouko.

“You must hate my guts, so I’ll make this quick…I had to set things straight. I know my note was probably in bad taste, but I didn’t know I’d get the chance to talk with you. I hope that you won’t hate me for what I said…what I HAD to say…I hoped it would save you pain later on. It wasn’t easy for me to say, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to read. But, I had to say it.”

Ryouko had to look away and take a deep breath to fortify himself. Sure, these SEEMED like ordinary, easy-to-say words. But it was never that simple with Ryouko.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Sakura was silent. She really didn’t know what to say. Ryouko stuffed his hands in his pockets and started to walk away. Not angrily or sad, but like there was something bothering him.

“Ryouko!” Sakura took off after him, catching his arm. “Wait a second!”

Sakura held out his trench coat. “Here…I hope it’s helpful to you…it was really helpful to me…”

Ryouko looked at the coat, but didn’t take it. Instead, he pushed it back towards Sakura.

“Why don’t you keep it? At least until I get back…I’d like part of me to stay in the village, as corny as that sounds.”

“But it’s cold out, are you sure?” Sakura asked, noting that she sounded almost like a wife, or a mother. Or a concerned girlfriend.

Ryouko managed a hollow smile, tugging his mask off his face and letting it hang down around his neck.

“I’m sure…I should go, before the Fifth finds out I’ve been here…(Ryouko shakes his head)I don’t want to cause you anymore trouble. Just…take care of yourself, okay?”

Sakura pulled Ryouko into a hug, surprising him. She rested her head on his shoulder, while he stared straight ahead in shock. He didn’t get hugged often, and never quite like this. There was an…appreciation in the confines of the hug that Ryouko sensed, but didn’t understand.

There’s a lot beyond understanding…accepting is more important…right?

“Let me at least warm you up before you go…”

Ryouko took that as a sign to go ahead and give Sakura a gentle hug in return. Ryouko felt guilty for enjoying this, even though he knew that feeling guilty made no sense whatsoever. Then again, it didn’t seem like much DID make sense. Things just seemed to happen randomly.

Sakura let go, blushing herself, thinking about those dreams she had. She would sort out her thoughts later, though. Right now, she still had the real Ryouko in front of her, for the last time for who knew HOW long. She was tempted to lean forward and kiss him…

No…if he has to leave, I’d only be making it harder…for both of us.

“Please, be careful, okay?” Sakura asked Ryouko, putting a hand on his cheek against the cold night air. Ryouko managed another small smile, causing both himself and Sakura to blush even more.

“I will…I promise.” Ryouko felt Sakura move her hand off his cheek. He looked at her one last time, then ran silently down the street, wishing even more that he didn’t have to leave.

--

After talking to everyone he needed to, Ryouko met with Kakashi. It was daybreak now, and time to talk to the Fifth Hokage. But Ryouko wasn’t going to go.

“I figured out this, Kakashi-sensei: I can’t disobey any orders I don’t know about. Maybe it’s better I don’t know all the details of my mission. It might be safer that way. Besides, you can’t even torture someone into telling something they don’t know.”

Kakashi hadn’t thought of it that way. The thought that HAD crossed his mind was “he wasn’t raised as a Shinobi, no matter how hard he’s studied, it’s going to be hard for him.” Now, Kakashi’s thinking had been altered to “He’ll be okay. He’s thinking just like we need a spy/assassin to.” Ryouko had indeed matured as a Shinobi. How anyone could suggest he was a traitor…if Ryouko hadn’t made the big show about it, no one would have even thought about it. It was too unlikely. But when the realization DID hit them, the wound ran deeper, and with that wound, loyalty to the Hidden Leaf grew deeper as well, that much was already very apparent.

Out loud, Kakashi replied with “That’s smart thinking. So you’re going to do this?”

Ryouko shrugged. “It’s not like me to refuse a mission. Besides, maybe I’ll get that promotion, provided I don’t die.” It was common knowledge that Ryouko had been died a well-deserved promotion for at least two years know, so it was a long-running joke that even Ryouko indulged in once in a while.

Neither one of them needed to say it wasn’t likely Ryouko would be coming back.

--

So Diary, tonight was…well…how to describe it? It was…romantic, in a strange way. I mean, Ryouko got the guts up to talk to me like something other than a teammate. It was strange, seeing him so…different. He was really nervous, I could tell, but he didn’t freak out, he just tried to make sure I was okay. He seemed very concerned about me. But still, he managed to make the night so meaningful! He even gave me gifts, well in advance of White Day. It was so cute, a secret rendezvous near the river! I could have kissed him! But I didn’t.

Would he have stayed if I HAD kissed him? I answered myself: No. It would have been MORE PAINFUL for him to leave if I had kissed him, but he still would have. Ryouko’s like that, always duty-bound and loyal, chasing a promotion that never seems to get any closer. I hope he’ll be alright…

No matter what, I won’t forget who made this Valentine’s Day special. Ryouko left his coat, saying he wanted a piece of himself to stay in the village…I saw through that. He would NEVER say something so corny. He didn’t want me to have to give up my ‘security blanket’.

I’m more thankful for that he could imagine…
-Sakura

--

I made my move tonight. Out of the village, I mean. As for Sakura…she must know how I feel. I had the feeling she was going to kiss me, but she held off. Probably to save my feelings. Sakura WOULD do that. But would she have kissed me, if I wasn’t leaving? Hard to say. I’m nobody special, but she makes me feel like I am. I hate to leave, especially her. Her mind isn’t healed yet. I know the Hokage is a big name in healing, but some wounds can’t be healed conventionally. The wound Sasuke inflicted is the kind that’s only going to go away with understanding, time, and patience. Patience is NOT Tsunade’s strong point. And more than that, I think that Sakura needs someone who was there with her to tell her ‘it’s okay’. If Sakura gets sick, I will never forgive myself for agreeing to this mission, and I will never forgive Tsunade for asking it of me.

Tonight I say goodbye to the Hidden Leaf for a period of time unknown to me. I’m trying to make the most of this, but it isn’t working. This just sucks, no matter how I slice it. Dying as a ‘traitor’ to your village…I hate myself for that. I hope I live to clear my name…

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