Jini!

good story.it looks readable if it wasnt for the way this site sets out stories

coool^^

Wow love it fave for definate

YAY! Chapter 2!xD

I apologize for any grammar mistakes and whatsoever!>_<;;;

This chapter is a LOT shorter!^^;

Have fun!

nice story! XD I really like it! XP

LOl really?xD Well...even if it is...it will get a LOT better later!:D ^^

Thank yuo for readin especially Celine!^3^ *hugs*

Wow...Faving!!!!!

really?O.O thanks sooo much!xD

You're watching me? Are you Santa? O_O
Hahaha, just kidding, just kidding.
I'd like to say that this story is better than some other stories I've read on here.
First, because it's actually written like a story, not as a RP.
Second, there's a good amount of details in it.
And third, there isn't too much spelling/grammar mistakes AKA one can actually understand what is going on. XD
I like the plot of the story and how it starts off.
In addition, it's nice how it's easy to read.
JinixYugi is pretty cute. :3
Mm..I'd like to offer a bit of constructive criticism, but I dunno if you accept it.
It's alright if you don't. (:

I'm so glad.^^;;; Well since I have a really good friend correcting the stories for me.xD Its even her job!:P

But I would like a critique!Even if it IS the frist chapter...It will get better!Since...I think this chapter was quite boring...^^;;; I'm waiting for chapter 2 to be corrected.^^ But in the near future,I'd like to correct my own fanfic.^^ It would really help me out in English!xD

Haha, I'm glad that you're glad. (: Oh that's good, first time I heard of an author on here having a friend correct her stories. Well, maybe the Haha, do you pay her? :P

Oh really? I'm sure the story will get better. :D Oh no, this chapter isn't boring, I think it was fairly interesting. And ah, I see. I was wondering why the other chapters aren't up. Haha, true, but it's always good to have someone else look over it. They might see things that you missed. (: And you seem pretty good in English already. XD

Mm..well, when you do that thing where you put a * next to a word the readers' might not know and then later explain what the word means, I think it'd be nice if you placed the meanings at the bottom or right after the word has been used. Hopefully that made sense. XD But yeah, it's kinda strange how the meanings come a few sentences later after the words are used. Of course, that's my opinion so there's no need to listen to it. And I think that's all I can find. Your story is great, I like how you wrote in italics for Jini's thoughts. :3

No I dont pay her.:P I draw some pics for her.xD like chibis of her OC and stuff.^^

OH!!^^ I get it!Since...hm...you know in Word theres a limit in what you write in pages(when you write more then what ur supposed to in that page, you go to another one.^^) and I thought I would sell it as a novel in anime conventions...xD I decided not to...:P I'll just sell art as always.xD

I'll do that!^^ I understood!^^ I'll do that right after I reply all my messages and submit my new pics!x3 Thanks!^^ I'm sure that would help other ppl who will read this!x3

Hahaha, I was just kidding. :P But that's nice, I'm sure she loves the pictures, since you're a wonderful artist and all. (:

YAY I MADE SENSE :D And ohh, I see. So I guess you were trying to try to fit certain things on certain pages or something like that. You can try selling it as a novel! It'd be awesome if people buy it. :3 But of course people would buy your art, hehe.

Oh you're welcome. And thank you, I'm glad I was able to help some. Haha, you must be busy. ^__^

no no.xD I'm barely busy,mostly lazy.xD But it depends...since its boxing day this week...We'll be doing lots of shopping...x3;;;

Oh I heard something about Boxing Day. What's Boxing Day about? Have fun shopping! :D And I'm being really lazy as well. Shame on me. XD

xD

Well...it lasts a week...and all the stores are on special!^^ Like clothes that cost like 50(a shirt for ex.),with boxing day costs like 10$!x3 I think its like for the new yrs since it happens the day after x-mas!^^

There should be boxing day where you live!x3

OH WOWOWO Boxing Day sounds amazing! I have the need to go shopping now! o_O And it's probably for New Years, haha.

Hopefully there is because I want clothes that cost $50 to go down to $10. I could buy tons of presents for my friends then. I owe them presents. XD

lols yes it is!xD I can twait to go!Well...I was suppose to go 2day but I didnt feel like it...x3;;; 2morrow I guess...^^;;;

Haha, it's all good. Hopefully you bought lots of stuff today! :D

wooooooooooooooooooooow!!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG chappieeeeeee!!
but I loved every bet, continue soon ^^

LOL.Dont worry!XD Chapter 2 is shorter and it will have less mistakes...XD I barely write english stories anyways...

then what do you write in?

I write in Microsoft Word,but I usually write in french.

Cause you know...in Quebec...living in Montreal...obligated to learn french...gotta write french texts in french tests...-.- I dont write stories,I mostly think them and draw them!X3

hehe ^^

And it will get better!>.<

wow! good story! ^^

lol.thanks.^.^

Wow ^ ^Keep it coming! ^ ^

Chapter 2 is quite short though.^.^ Chapter 3...O.O...I think it's gonna be long...XD But Yami Yugi will appear.^.^