To One piece! Here we go!!
Submitted July 29, 2005 Updated October 24, 2005 Status Incomplete | Three girls lose their home in a large fire that wiped out the whole town. Two of them join the pirate crew, and they set off. But will one of them find love on a small ship in the middle of the sea?
Category:
Anime/Manga » One Piece |
Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 1 - The little onion girl
Submitted: July 29, 2005 • Updated: July 29, 2005
Word count: 550 • Size: 2k • Comments: 2 • views: 208
Chapter 2 - Saaski's story
Submitted: July 30, 2005 • Updated: July 30, 2005
Word count: 1098 • Size: 5k • Comments: 4 • views: 221
Chapter 3 - The Family, the secret, and the fire
Submitted: September 30, 2005 • Updated: September 30, 2005
Word count: 1538 • Size: 8k • Comments: 1 • views: 221
Chapter 4 - New adventures!
Submitted: October 24, 2005 • Updated: October 24, 2005
Word count: 991 • Size: 5k • Comments: 2 • views: 217
Comments
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RoronoaZoroGirlfriend on March 14, 2006, 4:35:41 AM
RoronoaZoroGirlfriend on (Chapter: 2)
sorry. weird and freakish girl here. sweet story!! i'm makin a story too!!! (sorry i'm hyper) i makin chapters fast cause i want to......... ok sorry. i just had candy. so i'm REALLY hyper.GothicDancer on March 13, 2006, 10:33:17 AM
GothicDancer on (Chapter: 4)
Well, I promised I would read and comment on your stories, so here I go! :) I hope you don't mind a little constructive critism first.Your ability to create a story in general is very good. It seems as though you always know where you want your story to go and just how to get it there. I bet with a little practice, you could create amazing plots. :)
Your descriptions need a little work. I'd say that you need to work on explaining situations, and that should be your focus. Remember this: Just because you know what's going to happen in the story doesn't mean your reader does. Therefore, you need to explain every little thing and use suspense as a replacement for a full explanation when you don't want it. Your specific details need some improving, too. Like, was there ever a point when you mentioned the Devil Fruit's actual name?
Well, that's what I've got. I look forward to seeing your writing get better as you continue. That's one of the best things about being an author. You can literally watch yourself improve. :) *hug*
moonlitdemoness09 on October 29, 2005, 1:23:17 AM
moonlitdemoness09 on (Chapter: 4)
Garflosheka!!! yay for new chapters!! hurrah!! i would draw them, but my scanner's screwed up and i have no other way of posting it.*cries* oh, and Luffy's awesome and all, but u know ZOLO ROX MORE SOX!!! XDmoonlitdemoness09 on October 9, 2005, 6:50:57 AM
moonlitdemoness09 on (Chapter: 3)
wow. thats...wow.incredible. nell is now officially awesome, as are you. please write the next chappie!!! i reeeaalllyy wanna read it!!moonlitdemoness09 on September 23, 2005, 9:12:35 AM
moonlitdemoness09 on (Chapter: 2)
woo!! i still love the story!!" Usopp, don't fill the kid's head with lies."
hee hee ^^ please write the next chappie! cliffhangers really annoy me...grr...anyways, ur still a great author! please keep writing!
moonlitdemoness09 on September 23, 2005, 9:10:01 AM
moonlitdemoness09 on (Chapter: 1)
why has no one commented??? this is a great story!! i really love it! your a great author!! now, ON TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!Icantdrawbutilltry on August 4, 2005, 5:40:02 AM
Icantdrawbutilltry on (Chapter: 2)
i love ur stories keep up the good work! ^_^ Eve