Chapter 1 - 1 - 225

How to Make Snape Angry/Annoyed/Confused/and more



Charm his hair pink

Hang him upside down so everyone can see his underpants

Every time he walks past you sneeze/sniff loudly/anything nose related

Throw a quaffle at his nose and say you thought It was a target

Do the same with a bludger

Draw and leave pictures of him with an abnormally large nose everywhere

Be James Potter. Be alive.

Be James Potter's son. Be alive.

Be mud blood trying to stick up for him

Be Sirius Black. Be alive.

Be Remus Lupin…(Be alive.)

(cont.) Blow up his cauldron several times a week

(cont.) Blow a potion up in his face

(cont.) try and kill him when you have no control over yourself

Save him from being killed by Remus

Try and get him killed by Remus

Charm gummy bears to sing and follow him around school

Get questions correct in class and then complain about him taking away points for answering a question

Take the DADA position

Be Hermione Granger

Be…pretty much anyone in Gryffindor

Show him this video and sing along to it (http://eviltrailmix.com/snapesexy.swf)

Be the creator of this video

Tell Voldie that he's a spy

Leave shampoo and soap around him during class

Tell him that there are so many ways to annoy him

Tell him that this list exists

Tell him that a lot of people helped make this list

Suggest that he make his own list like this

Sneak into the Slytherin boys dorm and turn all his belongings pink or other bright happy colors

Tickle his nose with a feather (watch out if he sneezes!)

Cut his hair

Give him a lot of pictures of James and Sirius teasing him

Sell tickets to tour his penisieve

Sell tickets to tour his office

Force him to watch Barney

Re-enact the Potter Puppet Pals movie, Bothering Snape.

Have him teach occulumency to Harry every year

Ask to do his hair for him

Draw hearts all over your potions homework and stare at him dreamily during class (this is REAL effective if you're a guy!)

Cast a Patronus Charm on him every time you see him

Tell him to take a shower

Tell him that he reminds you of you pet guinea pig

Give him a medal for being the `Greasiest in All the School'

Put a spell on him so that every time he opens his mouth he sings songs from the Wiggles. (i.e. Fruit Salad, yummy yummy.)

Use a charm to get the song `Banana Phone' stuck in his head (mind you that it DOESN'T STOP!)

Steal things from his office to make a Poly Juice Potion, put a hair or nail clipping of Hermione Granger in it.

Mix it with his favorite drink and watch him drink it

Make fun of him till the day he dies about it

Call him Snivellus

Ask him to watch Legally Blonde with you

Tell him he'd look good with blonde hair

Ask him personal questions (i.e. When was the last time you take a shower?) endlessly

Remind him that all pure-bloods are inter-related

That means he's related to Harry and Neville and James and Sirius…

Call him little names like honey bunny, dear, googly bear, and my favorite, Savvy Sevvy

Ask him stupid questions

Answer those questions

OR ask why when he answers

Teach his class and when you have to repeat a step say `Lather, rinse, repeat.'

Ask him why he can hate some as cool as (insert name of James, Sirius, Remus, Harry etc.)

Redecorate his office/class/side of the dorm in Gryffindor colors

Openly talk about how you plan to get Snape next

Use a sleeping potion to send him to sleep then…

…Braid his hair completely

Throw confetti at him and shout `Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Snivellus has arrived!'

Get a camera and be a paparazzi

Hire people to ask for his autograph as you take pictures

Write him a theme song

Get the chorus to sing the song in front of the Great Hall with special solo parts sung by Harry/Sirius/James/Remus (all depends which time period you're in)

Song the song that gets on everybody's nerves so that even when you aren't there singing it he can STILL hear it

Mention Harry Potter and his dad being better than him constantly. Include Harry running the DA (Dumbledore's Army) and thus teaching DADA before him

Ask him if he's still upset about not making it in to the Grease musical (stare at his hair when doing so)

Leave papers on his desk about nose jobs

Use Riddikulus on him every time he comes by you and say you thought he was a boggart

Tell him his robes bring out the color of his skin, hair, and eyes

Ask if you can use the grease from his hair to cook you chips (fries)

Get down on one knee and ask, `Will you…take a bath?'

Steal a piece of Snape's clothing and walk around muttering, `My precious…' in a gollum type voice

Proclaim your love for him in the Great Hall during dinner

Give him a dog ears, antlers, a rat tail and every time he opens his mouth he howls

Proceed to say `Marauder Mix-Up' every time he passes by

Set his robe on fire

Make a voodoo doll of him and threaten to rip the head off/let Sirius have it/ burn it/what ever you think will work

Leave Lockhart's books around with a picture of him plastered onto the front instead of Lockhart.

Get a jack-in-the-box and replace the head with Snape's head wearing a vulture hat like Neville's grandmothers

Dress up like Snape and imitate him. Refer to yourself as `Mini-me'

Leave him a cute teddy bear with a card that reads- To: Sevvy-poo From: Guess who

Make sure you write the card in a very cutesy like manner, be sure to include `I love you' at the end

When he looks down at your homework/cauldron, take your wand and shout Lumos to blind him

Ask for detentions

If that doesn't work make your potion go Remus-wrong (horribly bad) and ask again

If THAT doesn't work, dump the potion on his head and ask again

Smile at him every time he looks at you

Ask him why he saved Harry until he tells you

Then ask why

Charm all his quills to have care bear faces on them

Start calling him `Funshine' and other Care Bear names

Re-decorate his classroom with kittens, puppies, and other cute animals

Mimic everything he does in front of him (i.e. he says “What's the answer,” you say “What's the answer,”

Wink at him every time you make eye-contact

Call him by his first name

Or Ickle Sevvy-kins

Or if you're up to it `my precious-ickle-baby-snukum-wukums-sevvy-poo-poo'

Have rabbits `multiply' on his bed

Have him listen to Brittany Spears `Toxic'

Set your own robes on fire and scream for Snape to save you

Constantly bring Harry Potter to his office and say, `I did as you said, Professor!'

When he says he never told you to do that say, `Yes you di~d!' and throw a temper tantrum

Show up at his dorm (or even better his house) drunk and ask were your Sevvy is

Giggle every time he passes by or looks at you

Ask him if he's ticklish then tickle him no matter what he says

Tell him he should have tried out for one of the chimney sweepers in Mary Poppins

Sign your name (with a heart) on everything he owns

Write (your name) ::heart:: Sevvy 4 Eva on everything

Ask to help him in class and drop anything he hands you

Any time he says your name, faint

Use a can of disinfectant on anything he touches

Use scourgify on his hair (rinse and repeat)

Make a fan-club for him

Ask him to play playstation with you

Give him a blues clues balloon and sing the blues clues song

Subscribe to “naughty” magazines, Victoria's Secret magazines, under his name

Write a biography about him and publish it

Hand out copies to all the students and say that `Sevvy-poo' will be signing books after lunch

Do anything to lose house points until you've lost them all (don't stop even if you DO get a detention!)

Make a shrine to him in the green house

Or if you're the daring type, in Filch's office; say it's Filchs'

Have a sob fest when he gives you a detention

Watch everything he does and write it down

Enter his room, before he gets up and read him his schedule every morning

Become a very cute animagi and try to get him to adopt you

If that doesn't work…Try to get him to adopt you any way

Handcuff your self to him

Bite anyone that gets close to him

Ask him if he wants to go to a club and tango

If he says `no' force him to then get him drunk

Write a musical about him

Cast Neville Longbottom (or Sirius depending on the time period) as the lead role (Snape)

Chase him around every were like crazy fan girl/boy

Write a book about a teacher that falls in love with his student (which is against the law in places including Britain); dedicate it to Snape

Trip him in the halls or in class

Kneel down in front of him (in the Great Hall when every one is in there) and propose (then you should run like hell)

Randomly hit people lightly on the head saying, `duck' and when you get to Snape hit him in the back of the head and scream `GOOSE!' (Again run like hell, but isn't that what you do in the game? ;) )

Draw a life size picture of Snape and hang it up in the Great Hall

Tell him Umbridge has a crush on him (works in both time periods!)

Ask him if he wants to borrow your Lilac smelling shampoo

`What about Rose?'

`Lavender?'

`Fruit Punch, maybe?'

`I got it! Lemon!'

Write (or find) slash-fics of Snape/Harry, Snape/James, Snape/etc and send them to him by owl

Shave and keep his hair

Use them to make Polyjuice potions (Have fun!)

Sign him up to a dating service

Sigh sadly when he walks away from you

Use a spell to make him do the hokey-pokey

Point at random things and say `It look JUST like you!'

Charm a bandana to stay around his head as you lead him into the lake to play Marco Polo

During Christmas, chase him around the school with mistletoe

On Halloween, dress up like him, complete with a large nose and a greasy black wig

Hide under your desk or behind a cauldron and pretend he can't see even if he's staring at you, 2 inches away from your face

Become his `long lost twin' using all the hair from #153 and the potion on #154

Tell him that they were separated at birth and proceed to pull of the `Parent Trap' (include the ear piercing)

Force him to watch/read over and over the many times he's saved Harry

Tell him that his tattoo (the dark mark tattoo) his so blah and he should get a tattoo that looks like you

Wear something ridiculous (i.e. a pink tutu) and say, `Don't worry, you can try it on next!'

Ask him his birthday and if he doesn't tell you, buy him a puppy (or just use Padfoot and have him run away when Snape isn't looking) everyday and his he does tell you, do it anyway

Give your self a paper cut and ask him to kiss it for you

If he doesn't then cry VERY excessively

Get a llama and let it loose in the class room everyday

Do the same but let it loose in his office or bedroom when he isn't there

Pretend he doesn't exist

Tell him that `You should be a Charms professor!' when he asks why or doesn't reply say, `because you really now how to `charm' a person' followed by winks and nudges.

Tell him that Dumbledore said `you can have the DADA position if you get rid of all the boggarts in the school'

Make him think the boggart is you by having A LOT of people drink a Polyjuice potion with your hair in it and hide in dark places

Hide under his bed and make noises in the middle of the night

Make him squeal and record it

When he leans down to inspect your work kiss him!

Or if that's a little bit TOO much and you aren't willing to do that pull him down and yell `HI~~~!' in his face

Make references to Voldie, `How's Tommy?' `Are you two playing well together?' `You guys are like brothers!'

When he starts yelling at you, record it

The next day at breakfast, use the sonorus charm and play the recording so that everyone can hear it

Say creepy things to him such as, `I know what you did last summer' or `I've got my eyes on you, professor…oh yes, I'm ALWAYS watching you…'

Throw small objects like wads of parchment or peanuts at him

Shout aloud, `5 points!' when you hit him

Shout `100 points!' even louder and so a victory dance when you hit his nose

Ask if he has a girlfriend

Followed by winks and nudges

Tell him that Malfoy (Draco or Lucious) has a BIG crush on him

Faint, sigh dreamily, stare, etc anytime Snape walks by or some one mentions his name

Blow him kisses

Anytime he gets angry and his hand ends up by your face, bite it

Sneak into his room and steal his diary

If caught say `I don't know what you're talking about' while waving the diary around

If he snatches it from you, snatch it back and say `Didn't your mother ever teach you to share?'

Ask him `Didn't your mother teacher to SHOWER?' then plug your nose

(Pretend to) Fall asleep in class

If someone wakes you, mutter `Severus, come back to me…'

Shoot him with a tiny water gun pistol

The next day bring a bigger one

Keep doing that and then stop when you bring a HUGE super soaker

Each day use your excuse as, `Well, you DO need a bath'

Get some `cute' creatures from Hagrid and leave them in his room

Tackle him to the ground then stand triumphantly on him and have someone take a picture

Post that picture everywhere

After doing all of the above…ask him `If I leave you alone can my house have…oh say…two…thousand points?'
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Dress up like a pink rabbit and follow him around school

Tell everyone that he has a crush on James/Sirius/Remus/(god forbid) Peter/Harry/anyone else he hates

*Point wand at Snape* Accio robe!

*Keep wand there…* Accio underwear!

Tease him about that for life

Take pictures of that and give them to everyone

Send them to the Daily Profit

(that'll probably get him fired, which he won't like either)

Ask him if he's gay

Whether or not he says yes or no or nothing at all, say you can set him up

He'll probably say no, so do it anyway

Play the Thong Song every time he enters the room

Take him shopping in a muggle store

Go to the girls section and pick out some really girly things while saying, `This would look ADORABLE on you Sevvy!'

Tell him that he makes a better Snape than Alan Rickman

He'll ask who he is say, `No one!'

After a while tell him, `Some guy that's trying to look like you. Nose and all'

Insist that he has something in his nose and attempt to get it
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