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Chapter 1 - Warm Again

This story is about Sasuke, and Shiori, my oc. So if anyone even reads this, honestly tell me what you think! Give me some feedback! If you don't like canon/oc pairings that's fine, but don't flame.
Criticism is WELCOME! I can take it! Trust me!

Chapter 1 - Warm Again

Chapter 1 - Warm Again
The cold was mind numbing.
The girl stretched her sleeves around her nearly blue hands and shivered. Using a shard of glass, she etched another tally into the wall of the cave and counted them. "One, two, three..."
A painful knot in her stomach twisted.
 
Running straight into the mountains would not have been her first choice. Being afraid of the heights had compromised her, and it was too late to regret not taking the main road. How would she get past those ominous peaks that surrounded her village? She wondered which was better: a warm, bloody death by dogs, or a slow, cold death by the hand of Mother Nature.
 
Suddenly, a snake crept into her shelter. "Eeep!" The snake moved closer, and she did not think she could have been more frozen. It did not hurt her though, and as it slid over her shoulder she thought she heard it hiss into her ear.
 
"Follow..."
 
The snake took its exit.
 
"Wait!"
 
The girl scampered to her feet, struggling to keep pace with it as it gained speed. She followed it up the natural path of the mountain face. The storm blew snow into her eyes though, and she tripped only to be caught by a snow bank.
 
Behind her, an unfamiliar sound emerged above the roaring blizzard.
 
"Aren't you cold, child?" A soft, but dangerous voice asked.
 
The girl was startled. First, what was another person doing out here? Moreover, how had he found her? She struggled, then lifted her head to look at the man who stood before her. For a moment, she studied him.
 
Her initial reaction to the figure before her was surprise. She hadn't known what to expect, but it was not at all what she saw. The man before her was very tall, as most people were to her being only ten years old. But this man in particular, towered above her. His skin was snow white, in sharp contrast to his black hair, which was as even darker than her own.
 
But when she saw his face she felt an unexpected surge of pleasure. The face staring down at her was strangely beautiful; in it's own way, almost alien in its rarity. But more than that, the face was interesting. All the features were straight and angular and they too, seemed to be elongated. It might not have been attractive in any other face, but the narrow cheekbones perfectly complimented all his skinny features. Upon his pale skin there was a strange purplish pattern surrounding his eyes and trailing along a short length of his nose. Was it artifice or simply natural? But the eyes themselves were something she had never encountered before. They were of a strange golden tint, and the pupils were formed into slits, resembling a snake. But the most important thing was their likeness. The eyes that watched her with a barely hidden ambition seemed out of place in this seemingly young face. They felt ancient, and filled with an aching sadness, despite the kind expression that was displayed there on the rest of his face. It made her want to look away.
 
The man handed her a heavy cloak. She took it, then thanked him. But then she remembered that this man was supposed to be a stranger to her.
 
"Who are you?"
 
"My name is Orochimaru." he said with a smile, "But don't worry, I already know who you are."
 
"You do?"
 
"Yes. You are Nomura, Shiori of the Harukaa village." He said it like a teacher to his student, as he kneeled and laid his hand on her hair.
 
Shiori was enchanted by this strange man, and for a moment couldn't think of what to say.
 
"How did...you know that?"
 
He looked at Shiori for a moment, possibly deciding how to answer her. "Word travels." he finally decided as he cocked his head to the side, with a speculative expression on his face. The sadness in his eyes was there, and that still bothered her.
 
"Why are you sad?" she asked, suddenly concerned for him.
 
"Well Shiori, like you I have also lost people close to me."
 
She felt a sudden stab of pain as the certain memories pushed against the edge of her consciousness, attempting to intrude.
 
"Shiori, why are you out here alone?"
 
"I did something bad." She said, ashamed, like a child who had its hand caught in the cookie jar.
 
"In that case, why don't you come with me?" His tone was not at all depressed, but sounding rather hopeful. "I've done lots of bad things too, so you'll be welcomed with open arms. If you'll come, I can teach you things. I can teach you how to control yourself. You won't have to do bad things anymore." He stretched his hand towards her, closing the few feet between them; palm up. An invitation.
 
Without thinking she took his hand, eager. How had he known the one thing she wanted most in the world?
 
He smiled at her and was clearly happy with her decision. He stood and the wind howled once more as they both disappeared into the snow.
--
I was careful in choosing these names, here are their meanings:
 
“Nomura” simply means village in the field. I was not as particular about this one, I only chose it for the way it sounded.
 
“Shiori” means poem(also, when I chose this name I thought it was a bit funny because it sounded a little like chidori to me).
 
"Harukaa" means distant, or far from. In the Land of Snow the hidden village is called Yukigakure. The Harukaa village is located far north of Yukigakure.
 
“Kaede” means root, or maple.
 

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nextguardian on January 23, 2011, 12:57:39 PM

nextguardian on
nextguardianVery nice start here. You've got some good description in there. I like that you explained the meaning behind the names at the end. That's a good move imho.

SatomiTakashida on January 24, 2011, 11:05:03 AM

SatomiTakashida on
SatomiTakashidaThank you very much!:) Author notes ftw.