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Chapter 5 - Wonder

This story is about Sasuke, and Shiori, my oc. So if anyone even reads this, honestly tell me what you think! Give me some feedback! If you don't like canon/oc pairings that's fine, but don't flame.
Criticism is WELCOME! I can take it! Trust me!

Chapter 5 - Wonder

Chapter 5 - Wonder
After their third training session of the day had passed, Sasuke went straight to his room inside the hideout to think. It had been at least a week now, he was sure, though it was difficult to keep track of the days here. At least a week, and Shiori, his new rival, had still not spoken one word to him. Sasuke felt as though he were going mad wondering. What was wrong with her? Was she deaf? Mute? Or perhaps just thoroughly unsociable? But then, why did he care? Didn't having them be as distant as possible suit him? That was the plan all along after all...I can't afford to waste my time playing friends with some girl I don't even care about... But Sasuke was still bothered by this daily. The question always lingered. What does she think of me?
 
Another week passed. One day, they were training when she suddenly spoke.
 
"Say...What's that trick you do when your eyes turn red?"
 
Sasuke was astounded to hear her speak, Her voice was unlike any he had ever heard. It was not as high-pitched as he had grown to expect from girls his age, instead it was very low and deep, though not masculine in the least. It swam with the emotion her face did not show.
 
Once he looked at her again she had her forehead smashed together by her eyebrows. "Well?"
 
"It's my Sharingan. It lets me see everything you're doing."
 
"Then you'd better keep up!" she smiled, confident.
 
"Don't underestimate me."
 
"Who said I was?"
--
I'm not very happy with this chapter...mostly because it's just a draft of what I really want to happen. :d
 

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nextguardian on January 27, 2011, 11:01:17 AM

nextguardian on
nextguardianI really like the subtle romantic elements you put in. The tone of her voice, her eyes, etc. Another nicely done chapter.