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Chapter 1 - Prince Draco part 1

This is a new story that me and my friend Laura cam eup with I love DRACO MALFOY^^

Chapter 1 - Prince Draco part 1

Chapter 1 - Prince Draco part 1
(My pov) I looked to see 2 girls and two boys were they servents also or members of the castle I just continued to stair um uh h-hello my names Nicoles Im I was cut off we know who you are the girl in the red dress said you do i asked yah your the new servent she said everyone in the whole kingdom is talking about you i wonder how the prince will react when he sees this one the girl in the blue dress said t-the prince i stutterd you can tell shes new the girl in the red dress said and clueless she obviously hasnt heard of prince draco she said prince Draco but I dont understand I thought the king didnt have any children well at least thats what he told me I said thats what he wanted you to believe oh by the way my name is Laura she said Im Harry thats Ron and he was cut off Im Brigette nice to meet you I think I said so why would the king lie to me hes the king that s what he does Laura said ok but why dosnt he want nobody to know that he has children i asked when you meet the prince you,ll know hes the whole reason your hear your hear to serve and obey him she said what no no serving but obey i refuse you dont have a choice unless you want to end up like the rest of the servent girls that were hired to work hear Laura said others you mean there were more then just me well what happend to them I asked abit nervouse no one knows oh but you could ask the prince or whatevers left of him Laura said the others burst into laughter you guys are weird you make him sound as thow hes osme kind of ghost or mosnter he cant be that bad i said they continued to laugh so are you guys servents to I asked they continued ot laugh no were each princesses and princes of our own castle were just hear for the princes birthday wich is your first assignment by the way Laura said your your not joking i asked nope the prince turns 16 today its your job to plan the party she said really I asked more nervous now yah prett ymuch she said oh no I sighed well good luck with that she sai dleaving with her friends I sighed and was about to head towards the castle when I felt a tap on my shoulder I jumped and turned to face King Lucious I sighed your majesty I said ahh Nicole lovely to see you again Im sorry I had no intention of frightening you he said taking a fwe steps with his cane its allright your majesty im used to it I said following him into the castle well your hear now so considerd it as a home and us as a family and return all I accpect you to do is complete your tasks and finish your choors understand he said yes your majesty I said he stopped and turned to me is there something els ehe asked uh um well actually sir yesterday morning when your came to the orphaneg you told me you and your wife had no children he stiffined is that ture i asked he sighed now then why the sudden curosity he asked well its just i had heard some things from some children who were my age but then again i was cut off come with me he said he led me up a large staircase and down along hallway it was rather gloomy looking not like the lower leval of the castle what was he trying to hide we stopped in front of a large door it was so large iI couldnt even look up without getting dizzy I gasped as he knocked on the door son its past sun rise would you mind oh I dont know getting out of bed and waking up he said there wa snothing but silence he sighed now do you understand he aske di shook my head no not really sir I said well then your first task getting my son A.K.A the prince out of bed I looked up at him good luck with that he said leaving I turned back to the door and swalloed hard I tryed knocking on the door but still nothing then i got an idea i pulled out my wand and chanted the spell wich unlocks doors I smile din accomplishment I slowly pushed the doors open and walked In it was dark of course I tryed not to make any noise um h-hello Prince I said your higness I said your high I let out a scream as bumped into something but it was just a large statue of a really creepy looking dragon I sighed I jumped a mile when I heard what sounded like someone moaning maybe thats why the king lied about his son because he dosnt really have a son or he does and his son is is a ghost!! no no theres no such thing just then the moaning stoped it was coming from the large cannopey bed coverd in dark green drapes I slowly moved towards th ebed there was someone or something under thoes covers wimpering I slowly began to remove the coers I gasped when I saw a boy who wasnt seathrough nor hideous In anyway actually he was kind of ok really hot! ewwww what am I thinking hes hes I gasped hes the prince I slowly climed onto the bed and looked down at him wow hes nothing at alllike Laura said he was really pale wich kind of mad ehim like a Vampire he was sleeping in a pitch black room for god sakes and he had white blond hair maybe this wont be so bad after all I gasped when I felt the covers move I looked down at the prince who now had one eye open stairing right at me he opend the other eye as soon as he did he began to scream at the top of his lungs I did the same at the same time falling off his bed I back up into the large dresser who who are you who do you think you are how dare you come in hear trying to seduce me while im sleeping you disgusting little he said i was aloud ok he looked at me in confusion I mean i was aloud to come in your room not to seduce you ewww not that id ever want to your father let me in he told me to wake you up it was my first task i said first task he chuckled abit so your the new serven girl he said sitting up ya I am unfortunatly I said unfortnatly id watch your tone you have know Idea how lucky you are most servent girls would kill or die to be in your shoes right now not that you could affor any he said how dare you I do have shoes they may not be the bset but at least i have shoes and speaking of other girls what happened to the other servent girls that used to work hear i said uh other servent girls he said yes what did you kill them worse you problaby have them locked up in a dungeon and keep them there for your own enjoyment I said we dont have a dungeon he said oh well why is it so dark in hear how can you sleep like this what are you some kind of vampire i asked so i like it dark is that a crime wait why am I asking you this your my servent speeking of wich servent make my bed im getitng up get me a towle im taking a shower oh and get me a pair of pants would you he said smirking exuse me I asked you know pants P.A.N.T.S he said I know what they are but why do you need i was cut off what do you expect me to dude strut around the castle on my birthday completly nude not that I havnt done that befor ehe siad with that I lost my breath and completly passed out on the floor with a loud thud I awoke several minutes later he was allready headed towards the door wearing a shirts and green silk pajama pants psych he said laughing I gripped my phist in anger

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EpitaphOfParody on November 12, 2008, 8:17:01 PM

EpitaphOfParody on
EpitaphOfParodyPlease get a Beta reader. I'll do it. Someone will do it. But this is unreadable.

You have an interesting idea going, and Draco's characterization is good, but the grammatical errors, lack of punctuation and spelling mistakes mean that very few people will bother to read it.

Don't let your hard work go to waste, let someone edit your story! I was serious when I said I'd do it if you want me to. Just to put in the punctuation it needs. And fix the spelling.