Chapter 1 - The Things

1: If your teacher tells you to go out of the class say, "should I?"

2: Sing in a different language all day and if you don't know one, make one up and say that it's your own language.

3: Tap on your desk with a pencil and start rapping.

4: Rap in a different language.

5: If your language teacher tells you to do the work say that you aren't from the country that the work is set on.

6: If you are told to spit your gum out, go to the bin and pull the chewing gum out in a long string like thing.

7: Same as above but when you are done, say, "actually, I'm not finished!" and start stringing more gum out.

8: Bring a snail into school and when your teacher tells you to put it outside, tell them that it's your son.

9: Wear a pinkie ring and walk around all day saying, "Ring a ding, look at my bling!" And show your ring.

10: Start rapping The Tellitubbies.

11: Sharpen your pencil until there isn't anything left and then complain that your teacher won't give you a pencil.

12: Pretend to be Cheese from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends.

13: Make up a stupid nickname like Fish Head and whenever someone calls you by your real name shout loudly "My name's Fish Head!" (Or whatever name you called yourself)

14: Make up a weird nickname like Paloonly and say "My name's Paloonly because my puppy's called Paddy and I'm a little loony and it's a silent L in my name!" (Or whatever name you made up)

15: Say Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends quotes all day.

16: In PE, explain to your teacher that you can't do PE because a piece of your hair came out and show them a piece of your hair

17: Stick cat fur all over your face.

18: f your teacher asks you where your pen is, tip out a pencil case full of pens and then look at them blankly and then say, "I don't think I have one"

19: Wear a badge to school saying "I'm a retarded Fish"

20: Come into class in the morning eating fish and chips.

21: If work is set, complain that the only thing fun is electronic things.

22: When in a test, start crying and say, " I can't do this"

23: Randomly start screaming in class, roll around on the floor and scream, "It burns us, it burns us!!!"

24: Decorate your book with programmes from Cbeebies

25: Randomly Grab a ruler, stand on a chair, and put the ruler in the air and say, "May the force be with you"

26: Talk in a babies voice all day.

27: Come into school singing the Holes song "Dig it "

28: Call the teacher mate all day.

29: Make up a tribal dance and come into class doing it.

30: Sing 1 potato, 2 potato, 3 potato 4 all day.

31: If your asked a question, always answer singing London Bridge

32: Ask to go to the toilet and spend the rest of the lesson in the toilet.

33: Bring loads of playstation games into school and show them off to distract the lesson.

34: When asked to give in homework, give the teacher an envelope that says, Tiny wants to fly on it.

35: Brush your hair for the whole lesson.

36: Eat in class and when the teacher catches you, throw the food on the lap of the person sitting next to you and say that they were eating, not you.

37: Come into school with a rag as your comfort blanket and hug it all day and suck your thumb in class loudly.

38: Come into school with a collar and lead around your neck.

39: Cough really loudly in class every 2 minutes.

40: If you get a detention slip, eat it and then demand that you didn't get one.

41: Every 5 minutes say that the works boring you.

42: Come into school in a dog costume.

43: Tell the teacher that class is harder than Camp Green Lake

44: Whack the teacher around their face with a shovel.

45: Play a miniature keyboard all lesson.

46: Offer everyone in your class (including your teacher) if they would like you to do their hair in a mow hawk.

47: Use your work as toilet paper.

48: Throw your book in the toilet and then fish it out and bring it into class.

49:Bring a spade into class.

50: Say that the head teacher is as dry as Camp Green Lake.

51: Wear 10 hats into school.

52: Kick people in the shin all day and call them a rip off artist.

53: If asked a question, always answer the question in a rap.

54: Speak in improper English and write in improper English.

55: Walk everywhere on one leg.

56: Wear gloves and a hat and scarf in summer.

57: Draw all over your face in a marker.

58: Bring a pet into school and give your teacher a note saying that they can't send you home.

59: Go into school every 2 days.

60: Write everything backwards.

61: Demand that a pool table is put in your classroom

62: Fall off your chair and start crying

63: Giggle all day

64: Laugh histerically everytime something happens.

65: Speak in Latin all day

66: Jump up and down and shout "I do ballariny!"

67: Try to fly off the table 5 times

68: Sit in your teachers chair and don't get up

69: Poke your tounge out at the teacher all lesson and then say "I have a HUGE mouth alser and I can't put my tounge in!"

70: Record your fave TV show on your phone and watch it all lesson

71: Eat your pencil

72: Speak in a made up language all day

73: Do cartweels and acrobatics when the bell goes for the end of school

74: Wear a t-shirt that has quotes from your fave TV character.

75: Sing Winnie The Pooh in class all day

76: Do a back flip into the white board

77: Throw dictionaries across the classroom

78: If asked to help out, always sing a song to an advert in reply

79: Pick your nose

80: Pretend to be a cat

90: In the corridoor, do a histerically, dramatic death

91: do flips into your head teachers office

92: Throw your class work out of the window

93: Record a song on your phone and have it go off in lesson

94: Kick the door open and say I'M BACK!

95: Bring microwaveable food for your lunch

96: Walk around saying "I pooted" all day

97: Make a really wierd face all day

98: Say you can fly

99: Tell everyone that your dream job is a toilet cleaner

100: Bring a tank of fish into school

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