Chapter 51 - Arc VIII: Death of the Flesh- Chapter 1

Shocked silence reverberated in the high-ceiling room. Sakura and Naruto could do nothing but stare as Yuji as he explained.

“For some time now, I’ve been wrestling with…myself. In my subconscious. I can manifest this will in a special genjutsu, to allow myself to see and interact with my illness. This version of ‘myself’ is one I’ve been trying to defeat entirely. To push away; to free. I’ve learned now that I’m skipping a step. To defeat him, I have to let him merge with me first, THEN purge his existence, rather than keep denying his right to exist. However, due to all the time I’ve spent fighting him and going about this the wrong way, I’m afraid my time is short. I may not be able to win.”

Standing up, Yuji looked toward the doors. He felt like he had to say something…but what? It struck him- his own words!
“Sakura…you can tell, can’t you? Where my chakra has boiled my skin? It’s a sure way to tell that I don’t have long. The burns grow in intensity and frequency just about weekly now. Azami showed me how to make the scar tissue into a tattoo. That’s how I keep track of my lifespan. The right side of my body and my back are covered. If you can spare burn medication…that would make these last weeks easier.”

With that, Yuji scuttled outside. He had to hurry, before the idea left his head.
--

“You were special, old friend. A female’s name; a warrior’s heart; a strong soul; a weak body…so many things describe you, Ryouko. Maybe that’s why I need to make this grave. A grave with no one in it. Only memories and emotions that I cannot bring with me. And perhaps one more…”

It was a peaceful spot under a shady pine tree on the edge of the temple’s grounds. Nothing but rocks, birds, trees, and a small stream even within shouting distance. The tree was the tallest of it’s distinguished, aged group. At it’s base sat a single rock, upright in place. A grave marker. Written on it was ‘Ryouko’ and nothing else.

Yuji swallowed his emotion, struck by the thought that, as he (and therefore, ‘Ryouko’s’ remains) might cease to exist within weeks, it was stupid to be overcome with feelings for burying a name.

“Burns are one of the most painful injuries we can endure. I should have known that these burns were my body telling me that I’m messing up.”

It seemed so obvious now. No one died from burns like this. There was the remote chance of spontaneous combustion, too, but that was unlikely due to the fact that Yuji’s very chakra nature was fire. It should have been an easy thing to spot.

Now to correct my mistakes. Sakura and Naruto can fly on their own now. They are beyond anything I could teach them. More importantly, they have each other for protection now. Beyond that, they have the support of people far more powerful than I.
I’m sorry to make you a liar, Third Hokage. I can’t fulfill that prophecy you made. Unless I’ve already fulfilled it by doing what I‘ve done so far?
Now I need to see another prophecy through. The one regarding ‘Heaven’s Temper’. The next stage of my development.
--

Sakura and the others held an emergency meeting regarding Yuji. Their opinion was split.
Sakura and Naruto agreed that Yuji needed medical care- possibly for mental illness- and should be confined to care by force.

Asuma thought that Yuji had earned the right to spend his time as he pleased now that their was no prophecy.

Shikamaru felt sure that no one should be bound by a stupid prophecy anyway, and that Yuji should be given free reign.

In the end, it was Uzume who gave the best explanation, belief, and idea.

“I think that Yuji is a lost soul now that the prophecy is dissolved. His complaints about it to me were always on a personal level, not a professional level. Based on what I know, he needs a purpose. Even if that purpose is rebellion.”
Uzume looked at Naruto and Sakura.
“It’s an undeniable fact: His presence in your lives would have to shrink as you grew closer to each other. And given his past feelings for Sakura…”

“It would be so painful…” Sakura said quietly, her hands folded on her chest. “I can’t imagine…”

“And yet he’s said nothing of it. He knows it on some level. It’s an absolute truth to him when he says ‘There is no room for me in my life’. But his needs have begun to assert themselves. And that’s healthy. What is unhealthy is the developmental crossroads at which they chose to reveal themselves.”

Everyone looked to Sakura when the medical jargon began to flow. But she was as clueless as the others at this point. Male development continued into the twenties, but puberty should have been in the ending stages…

“Yuji is a late bloomer. More importantly, his emotional maturity is too high for his age. His capacity for self-sacrifice is in place, and just like that of your average adult jonin. However, he does not have the adult presence of mind to cater to his own needs. It’s backwards for most people. But Yuji is not average.” Uzume folders her hands in front of her chest and looked up, stretching her neck back and extending her chin and upward. She was most likely saying a silent prayer for his sake. Someone in his situation needed all the prayers he could get. Yuji needed a miracle at this point. Given Uzume’s calm demeanor she didn’t seem to think that a miracle was outside the realm of possibility. If anything, she seemed to favor his chances of coming out of this alive.

There seem to be a great deal of people that cared for Yuji. It made it that much more of a mystery -why did he insist on tackling things alone? To someone like Naruto, who couldn’t have made friends if he tried when he was younger, pushing away any support seemed ludicrous. It didn’t benefit anyone. Did Yuji think that he could push himself out of the minds of those would bonded with him? Did he think it didn’t hurt them if he was out of sight? And what of Yuji? Wouldn’t you want to be surrounded by loved ones at this juncture in your life? Or was there some primal instinct driving him to go it alone? Or was it a childish impulse? Since things didn’t work out the way Yuji expected, was this his way sulking?

“So what’s your plan?” Asuma asked plainly. “You’ve got something in mind. And as his family isn’t here to help his decision, I’ll be acting in that role.”

Shikamaru noticed that Asuma hadn’t made a move toward his cigarettes in quite a while. Did that have something to do with Yuji’s predicament, too?

I didn’t think Asuma was that close to Yuji. Is it because of Yuji’s relationship with the Third Hokage or something?

Uzume smiled, happy to see that kind of compassion for her embattled friend.
If only you would accept this kindness, Yuji.
“I think that he should be tasked to be an attendant to myself and the next Uzume. More importantly…Shoki could use an ‘older brother’ in his life. I cannot play that role. Yuji, however, is in the perfect position to do so.”
--

Yuji stared an nothing. Sitting there silently, his shinobi gear left aside, he wondered how to save himself. For all the times he had thought things were hopeless, he had never REALLY given up hope. Not until this time. For some reason, even though he stared death in the face on a daily basis, this time…
This time it was different.

It was a slow, torturous death, rather than the swift death he always imagined. His talk of ‘mastering himself’ was bluster to keep everyone else calm. This was one fight that no amount of training would help him win. And it was killing him, literally and figuratively.

“Damn it…” he swore quietly, to no one but himself. It was so damned unfair. Being nearly twenty-two years old, he had spent almost none of that time really alive.

Someone else was coming. Out of habit, Yuji looked up. Dispassionately, he noticed it was a girl. He just kept starring ahead, bleary-eyes from holding back a rare wave of tears.

“Move it!”

Not an ounce of compassion in the voice. It was a female voice, sure, but it had no warmth to it. At least, not obviously. As the voice bounced around the trees and hit Yuji’s ears, he thought he could hear the slightest bit of caring. Or maybe he was desperate for concern. Who knew? Moreover, who cared?

“Oh, bite me,” Yuji shot back, unmoving. “You don’t own this spot.”

“Neither do you.”

For whatever reason, the girl attacked. She dove at Yuji, aiming a fist at his face. He rolled backward instinctively and flipped her over him. He leapt to his feet, hands in a guard. The girl only smiled at him and disappeared.

Yuji fell back down, his hands still in a guard.
“A…hallucination…ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !”

He pounded on the ground until his fists hurt; then he clawed at the ground until his fingers bled. His face in his newly-dug hole, Yuji put his hands to his temples.
“Ha-ha! I’m so close to death I’m hallucinating! Man, what a beautiful hallucination! Pretty spry for a guy so close to death! HAHAHAHAHA!”

His finger nails destroyed and his face dirty, Yuji stood up, no longer chuckling. He looked downright angry now, glaring at nothing. For no reason, he began to run. Faster. Faster. Impossibly fast. Trees sped by. The Fire Daimyo’s temple disappeared. Yuji ran and ran until he hit a mountain he couldn’t just leap over.

When he opened his eyes, he was back in the clearing.
“Another hallucination? Feels like genjutsu…haha. Couldn’t be! HAHAHA!”

But even as he let insanity take over, Yuji dug inside himself. He could see his chained-up self reaching out to him. But the chained-up self looked healthy. Yuji’s hand was blackening with necrosis. His body really was dying.

My tattoo…I’ve only got my left hand still untouched. Why is he so healthy?
Haha! A slow, insane death…not the ‘blaze of glory‘ I pictured for my death. Like, on the battlefield. Or killed by someone far more powerful than me. The battle where I have no chance at all, but I‘ve got to fight because I‘m so damn noble!

Uzume’s words ran through his mind. He stopped fighting himself and let himself fall in to himself. His outstretched left hand grabbed the right hand of his inner self.

It hurt. A lot. It was absolutely agonizing. Beyond words.
And yet, Yuji couldn’t let go. It felt like it was right. Before he passed out, he wondered briefly if this was the height of insanity, or if his intuition had managed to survive the minefield his body had become?

I need to stay calm. If I really don’t want to worry the others, who then I need to start by calming myself. Every instinct I have tells me to push through the pain. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t…
So I might as well do!

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