Chapter 74 - Arc XI: Companionship- Chapter 1

She shook her head. “I can’t do it. I can’t. I’m sorry, Yuji.”
She looked at him pleadingly. She didn’t see the usual understanding in his eyes. Usually she could practically finish his sentences and vice versa. But now, there was only a blank, surprised, expectant look on his face. Surprising herself and Yuji, she turned and started to walk away.

“Wait a minute!”

Azami stopped, surprised at the command in Yuji’s voice. He had managed to bark it out, despite being out of breath from whatever mental exertion was bothering him. He looked at her as he caught his breath, his eyes alive for the first time in a long while.
“Azami…we can’t leave it like this! Not again. …”

There was a touch of pleading in his voice that made Azami’s heart whimper. She tried to steel herself and just tease him, but this time she couldn’t. She tried to think of a lie, but couldn’t do that either. She loved him. But she didn’t deserve him.

“Damnit. Azami, listen, whatever is going on in your head…just…is it selfish for me to ask for a straight answer? If it is, I’ll drop this. But…”
Yuji looked away, blushing. “…but if you can tell me, either way…Just…honestly, either way. I’ll accept it.”

Azami knew she owed him that much. She couldn’t try to save his feelings or hers anymore.
“I love you, Yuji. But I don’t deserve you.”

The words had the effect of two kunai clashing in absolute silence. The feeling was so powerful it reverberated through Yuji, as if his body had been struck with the flat of a sword.

To his credit, Yuji didn’t question it. God knew he wanted to. He rubbed his temples, screwing his eyes shut, trying to make sense of all this. In the end, he just spoke with the most natural words he could.
“I don’t see it that way. But I’m not you. And I would never hold your own words against you. Hearing you say you love me…that’s enough. Whatever the context.”

“Romantic,” Azami admitted immediately. If she was being honest, she was going to be completely honest. “Since the hot springs. When you wouldn’t just stare at me, no matter what I did. No…no, before that. When I picked your pocket, and then you helped me dodge my pursuers. I knew you were different. Physically, you’re attractive. And you’re deep. You’re so deep that I can’t see the bottom of your feelings…your soul. I could never read you as well as I could other people. When I realized I wasn’t bothered by that…”

Again, Yuji was stunned and at a loss for anything productive. So he eked out a “So…then…why?”

“Why don’t I deserve you, right? That’s what you mean?”

Yuji nodded, which she took as a sign to continue.

“I was bad. I would bring you nothing but trouble. Even if you say you don’t care, then I realize that I’ve killed people. No matter why, that is undeniable fact. Compared to me, your soul is pure white. And even if I get past all that…I’m not the type to just settle down like that.”

“No one’s asking you to settle! I don’t care if we just dated like two normal people. Or whatever you want! Anything”

“It can’t work!” Azami protested, emotion creeping into her voice.

“Then you can own me!”

Azami gasped and blushed. Yuji’s usual joking comment didn’t come. Instead, he stared into her eyes, blushing himself, but not breaking eye contact.

He meant it… she realized in astonishment. When she made no sound save for the gasp, Yuji continued. His voice was thick with desperation and emotion, but he paid it no heed. They were past the point of no return now.

“Like when we first met. After our fight. If I lost, you were going to own me. Even if that’s the case, I don’t mind. I’d rather be your possession than be without you!”

Such a show of emotion for Yuji. Someone who loved his freedom so much was willing to give it up. His heart had never been so open and vulnerable. He was at Azami’s mercy voluntarily. Because he loved her.

“I…I just don’t want to be alone anymore!” he finally said, breaking down. “Every day, it’s lonely. But at night…”
His face dropped even more, if possible. His voice was a barely audible whisper.
“At night, it’s almost unbearable. I think about death, religion, and other things that scare the hell out of me. It’s not healthy, and it’s not normal. I just…”

Azami kissed his forehead, managing to keep him quiet.
“There’s someone else now, Yuji. When I couldn’t bring myself to feel like we could be together, I-”

“Don’t play that card, Azami.” His voice was quite; pleading.
“You know that it’s the one thing you could say-”

“-That would make you give up on me completely,” Azami finished, a sad smile on her face, happy she could once again finish his thoughts before he could. “But it’s true, Yuji. His name is Kojiro. He‘s a fisherman I met back home, in the Land of Waves-”

A flare of chakra, instantly suppressed, lit the clearing briefly. Yuji had reigned his power in, breathing heavy to keep it back. He drew in one long breath, then exhaled, his fists unclenching. He spoke slowly, as if tasting his words.
“I…understand. For what it’s worth, I really do, and I…well, I wish you luck, okay? I promise not be a sore loser.”
He seemed to think of hugging her, but thought better of it and withdrew his arms.
“It’s almost a relief,” he said in a voice laded with sorrowful laughter. “To just know for sure, you know?”

She knew exactly what he meant, and started to tell him, but he cut her off.

“I promise not to harm the guy if you ever bring him around for a visit,” Yuji said before she could finish her thought. “Just…take care of yourself, okay?”

With that, he strode out of the clearing, one hand extended up in goodbye wave. He did not look back.

Azami still had her mouth open to speak, but instead let out a breath. There was little relief for her right now. On the upside, because of what Asuna was planning, she didn’t have to wait around to bring her back home.

Raising one hand in a handsign, Azami used her Shadow Summoning technique and let herself fall backward into the shadow.

At least Kojiro would be waiting for her.
--

Yuji honestly didn’t know what to do now. He had just humiliated himself. He’d taken a risk and told Azami everything. All at once, too. He had mistaken her desire to speak to him alone as her feelings coming to a head. Instead, she was breaking up with him before ever going out with him.

Oh, the hell with it.

Yuji blew off the festival, stopping home to change into his stealth gear. He didn’t want to be bothered. He put a blackened straw hat on his head, along with a dark hakama and uwagi, and threaded a path through the happy festival goers. The festival would continue for another couple days.

It hurt to be alone. The humiliation was nearly as bad. How could he have not known?! Of COURSE there was someone else! Why else hadn’t she acted on her attraction to him? To ‘not deserve him’. Bullshoot.

Yuji lit a cigarette, walking through the woods by himself. This scene would have been better if a girl’s hand was in his hand, rather than the cigarette that was a poor substitute. But it was an appropriate gesture, or so it seemed. Being this upset and embarrassed…

He had to go back to the festival tomorrow, he knew. He couldn’t blow it off, or people would ask questions. Especially when he and Azami had disappeared together. That was a line of questioning he didn’t want to face.
--
--

The rest of the festival was rather unspectacular, save for Naruto’s major decision. He decided that he was ready to go with Jiraiya to train. No harsh words were spoken, but there was a rift between him and Sakura right up until Naruto left two days later.

Asuna decided to stay for a while, keeping an eye on Shoki’s rapidly developing eye. Whenever he wasn’t training with Sakura, Shoki was with Asuna, learning how to use his eye from the scroll Yuji had brought back.

As for Yuji, it seemed that this sudden power had given him more confidence. He spent more time with friends. He even spent one afternoon sitting with Satoko, Kuroko, and Kuroko’s very noticeable younger sister, Shiroko. He learned that those were only nicknames for the two girls, because they were close with each other yet different as night and day. While Satoko openly drooled over him, he listened to Kuroko say what a sweet, shy girl Shiroko was. Shiroko blushed almost as easily as Yuji, apparently. She proceeded to point out that Kuroko was outgoing and a little abrasive.

To Yuji, the difference was clear.

Kuroko was resplendent in black clothes, alternating between pants, skirts, and shorts, with black hair in a ponytail. Shiroko had light brown hair, either in pigtails or let long behind her, usually clothed in a white top and a light-colored skirt. Both girls were very pretty, and both seemed a little sweet on Yuji, despite the power that he had to work very hard to control.

Another time, Asuna, Sakura and Shoki were watching Yuji spar against two ANBU agents. He had started out unarmed. When they attacked from opposite sides, Yuji dodged them both, landing behind one of the agents and swiping his sword. He swung the sword in just the right way to cut the other agent’s armor and sword strap. Yuji caught the sword before it hit the ground, then threw both away. Both agents tried to attack empty hand, but Yuji dodged, parried, and returned strikes at an amazing pace.

Sakura seemed fidgety next to Asuna. When Asuna gave her a questioning glance, Sakura hesitated for only a moment before telling her what was going on. With Yuji and the agents clattering in the background, she confided to Asuna about the uncomfortable questions Naruto had begun asking.

“And the worst part is, what if he’s right? What if I’m not really in love with him?” she asked, almost pleading for an answer. “I kept dismissing what he said, but the whole time he was the one who was really thinking. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Break up with him,” Asuna said flatly. “Really. You won’t know until you’re apart how you fell about each other. And no, him being on a trip doesn’t count. Can you go on without him? Is he everything to you? If he’s NOT everything, what is he?”

Shoki looked up to Sakura a great deal and hated to see her in pain. But at the same time, he was thinking about Yuji-senpai. Maybe he should…
No, Yuji-senpai would not. This was another man’s woman. That meant she was off-limits.
--
--

Yuji was sitting up one night more than a week after the festival, resting on a window ledge. The moon shone on him, illuminating the half of him that faced the window. One hand held a cup of tea, still emitting steam from being freshly made.
Yuji was shirtless, letting the cool night air brush against his skin. The air was getting more crisp, but Yuji made no move to cover up. Part of it was training; working on functioning through discomfort. The other part was that the cold was a welcome distraction. He hadn’t been bluffing when he told Azami that night was not just lonely but horrifying for him. Even with the power to dispel any external threat at his command, it was internal threats that worried Yuji.

Tonight he was just about contemplating what he would do if his parents died when he was interrupted by a knocking at his door. He shrugged on a light black shirt and moved to answer the door.

Sakura was on the other side, dressed in a set of overly large jade green pajamas. With the sleeves hanging over her hands and her hair not tied back so that her bangs fell over her eyes, she looked really cute. He immediately stepped aside to invite her in.

“What brings you here so late?” Yuji asked casually, setting about making another cup of tea for his guest.

“I knew you’d be up,” she replied with a knowing smile. “And I figured that you wouldn’t mind some company.”

Yuji raised his eyebrows and returned her smile. “Your company is always welcome.”
He set down a cup of tea in front of her, then settled himself in to listen.

Sakura could hardly hide her downcast look as she frowned into her tea cup, giving Yuji a beautiful picture of a pretty young woman with a melancholy expression His heart flip-flopped in his chest briefly, even as his mind screamed at him about ogling Naruto-dono‘s girl.

“You know about Naruto and I?”
Sakura’s sweet voice brought Yuji back to reality. He nodded somberly; Naruto had also sought his council before leaving. He had advised Naruto to patch things up with her- as friends, not as lovers or teammates. He had, apparently, chosen to not take Yuji’s advice. That was understandable. It was a damned awkward situation.

Though this visit is awkward in and of itself, Yuji admitted, taking a sip of tea as he waited for Sakura to continue.

“This prophecy stuff…he thinks that it’s what made us fall in love. And he doesn’t want to be led around by a scroll. So he’s not taking…well, ‘us’ seriously…”
She looked like she wanted to say more, but was holding back. Yuji decided not to press her. Instead, he took a long sip of tea while he thought over the issue. The two couldn’t talk it out, so…

“If the prophecy was behind it…would you love him any less?”

Sakura shook her head. “No. No, I wouldn’t. But he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“…”
Yuji stood up and walked to the window, hands clasped behind his back.
“Speaking out of my role as your servant…I would say that you two are simply spending too much time together. The time apart will do you good, and when Naruto gets back, you’ll be even closer. What‘s the old saying- absence makes the heart grow fonder?’.”

Sakura had thought of that herself, but somehow hearing it from Yuji made her feel better. Even now she marveled at the power that was almost visibly coming from him. It seemed a validation that things would work out. Feeling better, she asked Yuji a question. She loved the fact that he talked to her now as an equal, rather than standing on ceremony.

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