My Forbidden Love Story
Submitted April 6, 2008 Updated July 22, 2008 Status Incomplete | This story is about a normal girl who falls in love with a not so normal guy.They end up going through a lot to be with each other but the question is can they be together ? ocXoc |
Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 1 - Intro
Submitted: April 6, 2008 • Updated: April 6, 2008
Word count: 525 • Size: 2k • Comments: 4 • views: 66
Chapter 2 - The Encounter
Submitted: April 7, 2008 • Updated: April 7, 2008
Word count: 1579 • Size: 7k • Comments: 2 • views: 95
Chapter 3 - Getting To Know Each Other
Submitted: July 22, 2008 • Updated: July 22, 2008
Word count: 2074 • Size: 10k • Comments: 0 • views: 64
Comments
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HikariYugiYamiAtemu on April 8, 2008, 8:46:04 PM
HikariYugiYamiAtemu on (Chapter: 2)
HikariYugiYamiAtemu on April 8, 2008, 8:44:29 PM
HikariYugiYamiAtemu on (Chapter: 1)
nice intro! :DKionaKina on April 7, 2008, 9:31:40 AM
KionaKina on (Chapter: 2)
I lov eit! but I gotta point out one thing.Your actions are written kinda off.
For example, you wrote *Nods* instead of saying "he nodded" or sometihng like that. I personally recommend not doing that in a story like this. It makes it kinda awkward.
And the parts in italisis, you may want to make it less like "He walked away" and make it more like Alena's thoughts.
These are just osme suggestions to make your writing a little stronger. Feel free to ignore me.
I liked it a lot! This story is intruiging.
Moon_Princess on April 6, 2008, 12:18:41 PM
Moon_Princess on (Chapter: 1)
Wow! Great job! ^_^~Moon_Princess
KionaKina on April 6, 2008, 11:18:56 AM
KionaKina on (Chapter: 1)
coooooooooolllllllTuxedo_Mini_Mask on April 6, 2008, 10:46:13 AM
Tuxedo_Mini_Mask on (Chapter: 1)
cool! I think I might like this, keep me posted ^^
and I agree with what Kay said too..^^;