Sonicfan

Time to say goodbye! [size]

Mood: FAC Love
Listening to: radio
Reading: "The Horse Whisperer"
Playing: WoW

(No I am not leaving FAC:D)
Just read further if you have the time =P

Sometimes... you need to let go of something or someone very dear to you.
Up untill now, I was unable to let go of such things. But finally, I grew strong enough for it. ^^

Sometimes friends go two diffrent ways in life, parting each other further and further untill they reach a place so far away from each other, they can't see the other one anymore. Suddenly, your friends seems to be a totally diffrent person. Suddenly, everything feels wrong to you.
This happened to me now.
It took me some weeks to figure it out. Quite some hours of meditation to think it over. The whole situation was wrong. All I was left to feel for him was anger. Why?
Because we just don't seem to get along with each other anymore.
So.. I thought about what I could change to make the situation better. What HE could change as well.
And suddenly I figured out: None of us should change anymore. We are the way we are. Maybe we could get along with each other again if everyone of the two of us would make certain sacrefices. BUT... this would make it even harder for the both of us. ^^

Looking back to our time together... I feel calm and happy inside^^. It was a good time. Full of fun and full of great moments. I'm greatfull for the time and don't feel like I would have lost anything. But just like everything else, these times have changed.
I don't want this shoot to go on and on for even more time =P we just grew diffrent from each other. So be it.
Sometimes, there's no need to hold onto something that's over a long time ago.

At first I really believed I couldn't be without him. xD without my dear friend. But actually: I can :D better: I feel as happy and free like never since the last 2 years! I can smile again, laugh, go to work with a biiiiig grin on my face. ^_____^
I know now: I just had to let go of him. Let him go and have his own good life. :) just as it should be.

As for me, I suddenly go on with my life. I started to learn for driving theory exam and will take it in 2-3 months! I started to go to Zürich more often and meet nice people there :D allready made quite some good friends there.
I found a new hobby I am so happy about I can barly stand it: LARP.
I can remember the days my friend told me about LARP. we both were very excited about it, dreamed about the day we will go and do larping together ^_^ Sadly, he grew to dislike the idea but I did give it a try and knew: that's it! That's my new big hobby. Who needs videogames if you can do all that stuff with a bit fantasy in real? ^o^v

...yeah^^ All this made me realize:
It was not HIM making me feel down all the time :) it was the fact that I couldn't let go of him. That I did hold on something that was broken a very long time ago ^^
I wanted to stop this earlier once. But he said he wouldn't just give up on me. He said that he wouldn't like to just let go allthough I asked for it.
But since he has his new girlfriend, we haven't met very often anymore. actually... maybe twice or three times xD haha. This situation - beeing apart from him - finally gave me the time to think everything over. :) and yesterday, I wrote him the SMS saying that it would be best for the both of us to just give it up allready and go diffrent ways ^^
I didn't get a reply. Maybe he's angry, maybe he thinks I'm just beeing emo or just wanted to make him feel bad. :)
But I'm not.

So.. Roger. ^^ thank you for the great time we had together! Thanks for your love that showed me that even something like me can be loved :D
Thanks for all the nights we went out walkin and talking together! Thanks for all the dreams, allthough not even one became true :) Dreams are bound to be broken. But they are great to hold dear in ones heart.
Thanks for everything. And I wish you all the best there is :D take care of yourself. <3

goodbye!


WIPs
Fairy Dragon 60%